WANT TO FIGURE OUT YOUR PURPOSE? THIS MIGHT HELP...

Is there a bigger question out there than this?

So much of my work with women often centres around these questions:

What is my purpose?

Am I doing what I am supposed to be doing?

What if what I’m doing now feels purposeless?

How can I pivot towards something that aligns more with who I truly am and what I really care about?

Firstly, let’s zoom out a little bit:

I’m not sure this idea of ‘having a purpose’ as a concept is as passive as we sometimes imagine it to be. As I see it, the whole concept of ‘having a purpose’ hinges on being intentional: choosing something to be purposeful about. So instead of thinking about it in a mystical sense, like our purpose is going to descend from the sky and onto our lap, we can be a bit more practical with it: What do I care enough about that I am willing to give it my attention? Purpose is about how we intentionally chose to use our time.

Here’s the truth of the matter. We are going to live on this earth for an unknown period of time and during that time we will do all kinds of things with our lives. We will have many jobs and many roles and care about many different things. We will throw lots of things at the wall to see if it sticks. Some of these things will end up being important to us. Some of them will absolutely not and our attention on them will run dry. The stuff that sticks, for however long it sticks, is the important stuff – the stuff we should pay attention to.

So instead of asking “What is my purpose?” a better question might be “What is showing up and drawing me to pay more attention to it right now?”

I have a few other ideas and things that you might want to consider when it comes to understanding your purpose and how to be more intentional about it:

• It’s my belief that on a macro level, our BIG purpose as humans is to make things better. To make ourselves, our relationships, our communities, our society, our environments better. To leave things more whole than they once were or have come to be. To inject beauty into things that might be overlooked, neglected or mistreated. To bring light to dark places in the world, in our culture, in ourselves. When you are wondering what you should be doing, or struggling to figure out what your purpose is - remember this first - come back to this: We are here to improve whatever we can, whenever we can - no matter how big or small - it all counts. It all boils back down to this and we’d all be so much better off if we remembered it more.

• It’s also important to remember that our sense of purpose should evolve throughout time as we do. Purpose is a living, breathing concept. It should expand and contract alongside our own development. It should move and flow with all of the seasons of life that we go through. Our sense of purpose, or our call to pay more attention to something in particular is not supposed to be a one-time, fixed thing. It can involve dedication and commitment at times, of course. It can ask of us to stay the course or to explore and activate our curiosity, but purpose is not the same as obligation. Our purpose should evolve as we do; as our experiences, passions, mindset, exposure to different ways of seeing the world does. Obligation to something that might have once felt purposeful but we have evolved past is a recipe for resentment. We should give ourselves explicit permission to allow our sense of purpose to evolve.

• And finally, for most of us, we already know what our purpose is in this season of our lives because it likely already occupies so much of our headspace. The problem isn’t finding it or figuring out what it is – the problem is acknowledging it and moving towards it. For most of us, that’s where the process stops. It’s not an issue of not knowing – I reckon most of us know what it is that we would love to be intentionally pursuing in our lives – the issue is giving ourselves permission to pursue it, or facing the uncertainty of what pursuing it might mean. It’s also important to note that sometimes the thing you feel is your purpose will become your money-making job and sometimes it will be the thing that save you from your money making job. One trajectory is not more important than the other when purpose is concerned. Purpose only wants to be acknowledged and fulfilled - how that happens isn’t the most important bit.

I wonder if you’ve given much thought to this concept of purpose before? Do you know what it is that you ought to be paying more attention to right now? Is there anything you need to give yourself permission to evolve past in order to move towards something more aligned for you in this season?

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Leave me a comment here or on social media and let’s chat some more about this idea of purpose.  

Purpose & Strength

I've had an interesting few weeks of conversations and investment in some personal development.  Usually that term gives me a bit of the shudders - it can sound a bit like navel-gazing - not something I have a lot of time for, but in reality it has been timely and really inspiring. Introspection, reflection & self-examination: not skills that I would say I have mastered, but I know they are important for growth, so I've been trying to get better at them - understanding my make-up a bit better; how I interact, how I learn, how I communicate, what makes me tick & come alive etc.  Pretty important stuff to get to grips with, I reckon.

A few weeks ago I logged into the #blogtacular twitter chat (every Wednesday, 9pm BST - not to be missed!) and the topic for the week was:

"Are you doing the work you want to be known for?"  

It was a pretty significant chat for me and the gals at Blogtacular know how to pose questions that are really thought-provoking.  I love the interaction and encouragement that goes on in those chats - if it were real life we would be walking out the pub door at the end high-fiving each other wildly.

I guess when I thought about responding to that question, I was working out the reality of that not only in a blog context but in a whole-life context.  For me, that's the bottom line.  This old blog here is a creative outlet for me amidst a pretty serious day job (that I love), but it's not a separate part of me - it's an extension of me.  I try to write and engage in things on the blogosphere that align with my whole self.  That means tackling issues that are important to me (I'm not a fashion-blogger, but I think ethical style is real important), tapping into my creative side by making things (I'm not a craft-blogger, but I think making stuff and being creative is life-giving) and trying to capture life for us in a way that is real and honest here in this space (I'm not a mummy-blogger, but I think motherhood is the biggest lesson of my life so I talk about it here).

For me, it's about championing the good, the underdog, the creative and the connections we all share.

If I could be known for that, I'd be happy.  It feels good to be true to yourself in all extensions, right?

Then this week, I had the chance to get some coaching from my friend Abbey - who runs her own coaching company out of the States.  Abbey introduced me to the Gallup Strengthsfinder last year and it has been a bit of a revelation.  I know there are a lot of personality assessments out there and lots of them are really good, but I was really drawn to the 'Strengths' concept because it uses positive psychology to "show people that our greatest potential resides in utilising our innate strengths" rather than using that energy to try and fix the parts of our make up that doesn't measure up.

Abbey was over in NI so I nabbed her for an afternoon of coaching with my work team.  We had all taken the assessment before hand so Abbey worked through our results individually and then brought us together as a team to look at how our strengths can work together - it was really practical, really inspiring and really freeing.

Both of these encounters have left me feeling energised and encouraged that I'm on the right track.  More so, it's given me a renewed vigour and confidence that the things I invest in, personally and professionally are a good fit for me.

I am really glad I've been spending some time on this - and would so encourage you to do the same (start with the Strengthsfinder assessment - trust!).  I think when we know our strongest abilities and find a purpose in life that fits those skills well, we all are on our way to being fully truly alive.