Episode 39: Take Your Body With You
Today I'm welcoming the wonderful Michelle Leeder to join me as we discuss more about Embodied Leadership and share about our upcoming work on this. We get into the weeds about how embodiment works, why it has been so hard for women to connect to this approach in a leadership context and the huge potential and benefits of this approach to change the game for women who lead.
We also share with you that our upcoming leadership development training programme: Embodied Leadership is now open for registration! If you are a female leader who wants to gather with other women who lead to embrace the fullness of your innate leadership skills - mind, heart and body - so you can lead with more authenticity, intuition and assurance - THIS IS FOR YOU! You can find out more about the Embodied Leadership Programme, which will be starting in mid-October here.
+ Click here to read the transcript
Episode 38: Embodied Leadership
Hello and welcome back to Courage Is Calling!
Over the summer I found myself beginning to switch gears a little bit in my work. After quite a long time of not feeling super inspired, I had some new downloads of some gentle (but also quite mighty) ideas.
One that has been formulating for quite some time is a new model of resourcing and support for female leaders and the idea of exploring what it means to lead from an embodied approach.
I'm sharing more about this idea and approach in this episode and inviting you to join myself and Michelle Leeder (psychotherapist & embodiment expert) to hear more about what we're working on around Embodied Leadership in a free online gathering/webinar next Monday (Sept 11th) at 7pm GMT.
If you're a leader, manager, founder, executive, head of dept, or you lead in any way, we'd love to invite you to sign up and come along - click here and stick your email address down and we'll send you the info.
---
Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/melwiggins/message
+ Click here to read the transcript
Hello and welcome back to Courage Is Calling! I am your host Mel Wiggins and it is good to be back behind the microphone talking to you about all things bravery in work and life.
Over the summer I found myself beginning to switch gears a little bit in my work. After quite a long time of not feeling super inspired, making adjustments for myself, letting things be what they are in my business and not pushing for inspiration in my work - I had some new downloads over the summer of some gentle (but also quite mighty) ideas.
One that has been formulating for quite some time is a new model of resourcing and support for female leaders. This is something I think I've been sitting on for quite a while but has needed to make it's own way to the front in it's own time. I began to think about my own leadership journey, the roles where I have been the person in charge or the person managing or coordinating work - both for myself and my team in my business but also in my roles in the charity sector where I managed big projects with loads of moving parts.
And I realised that I never really had any support to lead well. I was in the roles because someone thoughts I was capable but ultimately I had to piece together my own version of leadership and as we all know - this often happens on a wing and a prayer because when you’re leading - rarely is there time to reflect on how you’re actually doing that and what kind of leader you want to be - you are usually just fighting fires, trying to manage other people, pushing ahead and learning on the job.
What I also realised is that when it came to how I led, I often felt like I had to lead like the men around me and there was a sense both implicitly and explicitly that I had to prove myself that bit more, keep an eye on the balance of my assertiveness that bit more and justify my decisions much more than the males that I worked with.
When you are leading with that kind of feeling surrounding you, the only real outcome is self-doubt and questioning yourself and I have witnessed this many times in my own journey of leadership and in the experiences of other women.
So earlier in the summer I decided to get some information from other female leaders to get a wider sense of how they felt in their roles - what they were struggling with, how they felt about being in their positions as females and what kind of support they were receiving already to help them lead well.
I had over 60 responses from women in all kinds of fields - and it was so enlightening, affirming and also enraging to hear their stories and to understand that the picture of leadership for women still remains largely under resourced and supported.
Sure there are training programmes out there for women in leadership - but as far as I can see - so much of them continue to focus on a very male-centred approach - one that largely looks at goals and vision and evaluations and leveraging teams and lots of the more rigid HEAD stuff.
What I have noticed is that there are no models of leadership development that actually help women make peace with and understand the nuances for women leading that requires us to take what I am calling, an embodied approach.
What this means is that instead of following rigid leadership models that require us to turn away from our intuition and feelings in order to get the job done - actually the key to unlocking the power of female leadership lies in turning toward our intuition, toward our instincts, toward our gut senses and to pay attention to the wise knowing in our bodies in order to lead well.
Embodied leadership actually recognises that our bodies are completely in allyship with us and can be a great intelligence source to help us deepen our sense of self-trust as we make decisions, communicate, develop teams and create environments for people to thrive and for the work we are doing to be impactful.
I actually think that an embodied approach to leadership is actually the missing piece in leadership development for women. Learning or relearning to trust the wisdom of our body, heart AND mind to lead well. Not cutting off the body and heart - but bringing them in to all aspects of leadership and recognising how these aspects, often left at the door, have the power to develop female leaders that will completely change the game for us indiviudally, change the culture of work and change the levels of impact our work can have.
This realisation, when it came, got me fired up and I enlisted my most trusted friend, Michelle Leeder to help me formulate some sort of support and training that approaches leadership development in this way. Michelle is a psychotherapist and embodiment expert with two decades of experience in leading work with women and girls and together we are creating a brand new piece of work around this - something that as far as I can see - is not available anywhere else for women who lead.
Together we are creating something that is going to give women in leadership a fuller, more nuanced understanding of their leadership potential by integrating their body, activating their intuition and understanding the power of embodiment. We are collating all of our own training and research to bring you - brilliant female leaders - something dynamic, evidence based, practical and hopeful.
What if instead of feeling like we need to prove ourselves, women could come into a deeper understanding of self-assurance and trust and lead from there.
What if instead of pushing down feelings of frustration or anger when our judgement or decisions are questioned, we could pull on some powerful inner resources and tools to feel more regulated and lead from there.
What if instead of second guessing our approach or communication style, we were able to ground ourselves in ways of communicating that feel powerful and authentic and we lead from there.
What if instead of feeling deflated by constant issues arising and having to troubleshoot, we have ways of dealing with conflict that are person-centred and boundaried and we lead from there.
What if instead of everything living in our heads, responsibility overwhelming us we are able to work with our bodies as a source of intelligence that can help us manage stress and we lead from there.
Wouldn’t our lives be better, our work be better and the impact of our work stronger if women felt liberated and supported to lead in this way?
Michelle is going to be joining me over the next couple of weeks on this podcast as we share a bit more about what it means to be an embodied leader - so look out for more episodes coming soon. And if you’re a female leader and you’re curious about this piece of work and how an embodied approach might support your leadership journey we’d love you to join us for a webinar gathering on Monday Sept. 11th at 7pm. The link is in the profile to sign up to come to that.
Until then, all the love and courage to you.
Episode 37: 5 Subtle Ways Women Are Self-Sabotaging
In all the work I’ve done with women of all ages and backgrounds over the last decade, there have been some emerging themes of self-sabotage that I have seen with my own eyes; some particular ways that I see brilliant women like you and I tripping ourselves up repeatedly over and over again. These are what we're going to be looking at in this weeks episode.
If you're looking for some coaching support, here are three ways you can work with me right now:
1. Over the summer I have a few spaces available for VIP Days. If you need a more in depth burst of strategy and clarity but are short on time, join me for an in-person (or virtual online) day of getting clear, strategic and excited about the next stage of your business. These days have been amazing for my clients. We solve problems, generate new ideas and ways of working and have the best time doing it.
2. Join my Brand Builder Group Programme! It is GLORIOUS! I've been running this programme ongoing for the last year and it really is so special. It's part self-learning, part live group-coaching and right now I have a beautiful group of female business owners going through the modules to help them create super sonic clarity, greater self-belief and ways of working that completely change the game for their energy and goals in their businesses. If you'd like to hear more about it, click here or let's find a time to chat about where things are at for you and if this could be the right next step in developing you and your work. Book a call with me here!
3. If you’re not a business owner but you think your workplace could benefit from some coaching and training from me to help bring more connection to your teams and better ways of working when it comes to challenges and change, then I’d love to chat about that too. You can email me hello@melwiggins.com.
+ Click here to read the transcript
Episode 36: The Truth About Being An Influencer
I don't know how long you’ve been following along in terms of the work that I do or what I share, but if you were around pre-pandemic, you may have seen that I had a little bit of time where I was exploring the idea of influence. I went on a bit of a quest to explore what it means in culture today; to break open the word and dig out all the flesh that we have put around it and try to find out what is at its core – the real juicy stuff.
And I got somewhere with it. Somewhere surprising. It was exciting to lift the layers and see what’s underneath all the trappings of influence that we have created for ourselves. (sidenote: what we have created - not wonderful) I'm sharing it all in this episode and I think you're really going to love it.
If you're looking for some coaching support, here are three ways you can work with me right now:
1. Over the summer I have a few spaces available for VIP Days. If you need a more in depth burst of strategy and clarity but are short on time, join me for an in-person (or virtual online) day of getting clear, strategic and excited about the next stage of your business. These days have been amazing for my clients. We solve problems, generate new ideas and ways of working and have the best time doing it.
2. Join my Brand Builder Group Programme! It is GLORIOUS! I've been running this programme ongoing for the last year and it really is so special. It's part self-learning, part live group-coaching and right now I have a beautiful group of female business owners going through the modules to help them create super sonic clarity, greater self-belief and ways of working that completely change the game for their energy and goals in their businesses. If you'd like to hear more about it, click here or let's find a time to chat about where things are at for you and if this could be the right next step in developing you and your work. Book a call with me here!
3. If you’re not a business owner but you think your workplace could benefit from some coaching and training from me to help bring more connection to your teams and better ways of working when it comes to challenges and change, then I’d love to chat about that too. You can email me hello@melwiggins.com.
+ Click here to read the transcript
Episode 35: 3 Huge Distractions That Will Keep You From Doing Fulfilling Work
I’ve been involved in the personal development industry for just about a decade - 6 of those years directly coaching and building a business. I’ve been around the block in terms of the kind of gurus there are in this industry and have experienced a lot of different schools of thought when it comes to the ways you can make your business successful, grow your income and your influence etc and in this episode I want to shed some light on some of the more formulaic things that are being peddled that I think that are ultimately huge distractions that especially for women, are keeping us from doing fulfilling work. .
It is more important than ever, in this noisy culture that wants to tell us the formula for ‘success’, that we sift through the nonsense and tune into our own intuition and desires.
If you're looking for some coaching support, here are three ways you can work with me right now:
Over the summer I have a few spaces available for VIP Days. If you need a more in depth burst of strategy and clarity but are short on time, join me for an in-person (or virtual online) day of getting clear, strategic and excited about the next stage of your business. These days have been amazing for my clients. We solve problems, generate new ideas and ways of working and have the best time doing it.
Join my Brand Builder Group Programme! It is GLORIOUS! I've been running this programme ongoing for the last year and it really is so special. It's part self-learning, part live group-coaching and right now I have a beautiful group of female business owners going through the modules to help them create super sonic clarity, greater self-belief and ways of working that completely change the game for their energy and goals in their businesses. If you'd like to hear more about it, click here or let's find a time to chat about where things are at for you and if this could be the right next step in developing you and your work. Book a call with me here!
If you’re not a business owner but you think your workplace could benefit from some coaching and training from me to help bring more connection to your teams and better ways of working when it comes to challenges and change, then I’d love to chat about that too. You can email me hello@melwiggins.com.
+ Click here to read the transcript
Episode 34: How To Regulate Stress & Build Resilience
In today's episode I'm going to break down the second tier in the resilience pyramid; the building block on developing internal safety: understanding regulation.
Regulation is our ability to head back to practices that notify our body that we are safe when we feel stress or experience difficult moments or feelings. I'm going to get into some important regulation techniques and also take a minute and explain a bit about stress, stress cycles (a term coined by the Nagoski sisters who wrote the amazing book 'Burnout') and the nervous system. If you want to know how to manage stress and build resilience in your life and work, understanding regulation is going to be KEY.
As always, I’m here - willing to chat more - you can email me hello@melwiggins.com if you want to reflect on anything in this episode and if there’s anything I can do to go further with this and support you or your maybe even spend some time with your team or workplace looking at resilience building, know that I’d love to do that and you can email me for more details of what that could look like.
And if you’re a female business owner keen to do more work on building your resilience as you build your business, we make space for all of this in my four month brand builder programme which is open right now. If you want to chat to me about what the brand builder involves, click here to book a little bit of time with me, for free and chat that through.
+ Click here to read the transcript
Episode 33: The Pyramid of Resilience Building for Business Owners & Teams
It’s no surprise to me that I’m hearing more conversations about resilience lately, and having people come to me to support their work or their teams in understanding and building resilience. In times of rapid change and so much uncertainty, we need to get to grips with what it means to be resilient more than ever. We need to learn the tools and practices that can support us to manage ourselves through disappointment, tragedy, chaos and flux.
In this episode I want to share about is what I’m calling The Pyramid of Resilience Building; the structure that needs to be in place for sustainable growth, development, fulfillment and capacity.
As always, I’m here - willing to chat more - you can email me hello@melwiggins.com and if there’s anything I can do to go further with this and support you or your team in resilience building, and you can contact me for more details of what that could look like. I have training workshops and packages for teams and leaders that I’d love to share with you. And if you’re a female business owner keen to develop some of these tools to support the building of your business and you as the business owner, we do all of this in my four month brand builder programme which is open right now - check it out here!
+ Click here to read the transcript
Episode 32: Mindtrash, Other People’s Opinions & The Plague of Self-Consciousness
I recently asked this question of female business owners: “What is the biggest mind-trash thinking you come up against in your business that you’d love to work through?”
And the number one mindtrash thinking that came up was about other people. Answers were things like: "Other people are better than me" "What will other people think if I do x y and x?" "I don’t think what I have is of value compared to other people in my industry" Other people other people other people...
So In this episode I'm going to break down how this is both a) totally reasonable and b) something we can move through not let it rob us of time, energy or creativity and brave action.
I hope this episode brings you a bit of comfort for when other peoples opinions or the plague of self-consciousness arises within you on your creative or business building journey.
I also want to let you know that I am opening the invitation for women in business to join me for my 8 month Accelerator Programme that begins in mid-March. This is an invitation to journey with me over the next 8 months to be supported as a business owner; expand your self-belief, make courageous decisions, learn from female experts in business and have the wisdom and warmth of other female business owners by your side. This is the most beautiful mix of strategy and soul-work - an opportunity for you to discover more about yourself, to lean into your feminine and masculine energy and let that inform how you run your business so it can be both purposeful and profitable. The link to find out about the accelerator and have a chat with me about it is here!
Thank you as always for listening - if you have anything to share on this or want to chat more - you can always reach out to me on email hello@melwiggins.com or shimmy on into my DM's on IG @ melwiggins.
+ Click here to read the transcript
Episode 31: Embracing the Feminine Energy In Business
Today I want to talk about what it means to embrace the feminine energy in business building. I think it’s important before I start to let you know that we are talking about energy here and not gender so I want to clarify that the feminine and masculine principles I’m talking about are not defined by gender or sexual orientation. They are universal energies, principles, or capacities found in all people, systems, and cultures.
We all possess feminine and masculine energy within us and the balance of these energies is used in many different aspects of our lives. We rely on both of these areas to show up in different ways and for different means and in business especially it is important to consider when we need each of these energies. I'm going to share six key areas that I believe need a stronger dose of feminine energy when it comes to building a business - tune in!
I also want to let you know that I am opening the invitation for women in business to join me for my 8 month Accelerator Programme that begins in March. This is an invitation to journey with me over the next 8 months to be supported as a business owner; expand your self-belief, make courageous decisions, learn from female experts in business and have the wisdom and warmth of other female business owners by your side. This is the most beautiful mix of strategy and soul-work - an opportunity for you to discover more about yourself, to lean into your feminine and masculine energy and let that inform how you run your business so it can be both purposeful and profitable. The link to find out about the accelerator and have a chat with me about it is here!
Thank you as always for listening - if you have anything to share on this or want to chat more - you can always reach out to me on email hello@melwiggins.com or shimmy on into my dms on IG @ melwiggins.
+ Click here to read the transcript
Episode 30 - 5 New Mantras For Business in 2023
Welcome back to Courage Is Calling! Over the last few weeks I’ve been ruminating - allowing thoughts and ideas to come when they’re ready and I usually find when I have a bit more space or margin, I can sense certain things taking shape naturally. I notice that I keep coming back to certain themes within myself, in my processes and thoughts and I notice those things appearing or being talked about more frequently in my calls with groups and clients so I thought I’d share some of them with you today.
I’m calling them Mantras - 5 ideas or ways of being that I really want to hold onto as I run my business and do my work this year. Some of these have been brewing for a while and are finally landing in my head and my heart and I want to offer them to you so you can think on them as well.
So those are my five mantras:
Trust is paramount (in yourself and your clients)
Growth is not measured by numbers, but by depth of trust and impact in your work
Create a body of work rather than churning out content
Everything is an invitation, never an expectation
I don’t have to do this alone
I wonder if any of these feel important for you to explore or take up for yourself and your work this year? I’d love to know if they are - so do feel free to DM me on instagram @melwiggins or to reach out on email hello@melwiggins.com and let me know.
**And if you are interested in working together this year to help move your business and work into a place of alignment with your values, and of profit and purpose, my invitation to you is to have a look at my Brand Builder Programme. We have a beautiful community of female business owners in there that are working through the really powerful resources and tools that I’ve put together that will bring so much more ease and clarity to your work and over the life of the fourth month programme you’ve got me with you every step of the way. The link to find out more is below 👇 and I’d be more than happy to chat with you about whether this could be the right next step for you in developing your business and you as the business owner. You are always invited.**
Brand Builder Programme Info: https://www.melwiggins.com/the-brand-builder-group-programme
Book a Free Chat with me: https://melwiggins.as.me/?appointmentType=36668849
+ Click here to read the transcript
Episode 29: A New Leap of Marketing Faith
I’ve been in a bit of a personal shift behind the scenes of my business, so this episode feels vulnerable and deeply personal to me because I want to take you there. I want to share with you how my business has shifted over the last few years and what I’m holding onto as things move forward.
I really wanted to share honestly because even though it’s vulnerable, I know there's connection to come from it and there are a lot more of us out there feeling the shift and wanting to take the leap to do things differently and bet on themselves in a deeper way. Please as always feel free to reach out for a chat, knowing that I’m cheering you on. You can reach me on IG @melwiggins or email me on hello@melwiggins.com
This is likely to be the last episode of Courage Is Calling before 2023, so in that case I want to wish you all the good things for the holiday season and I’ll be back in the new year with more. Thank you for listening to this episode and coming back to listen to Courage Is Calling throughout the last year.
Find out about the Brand Builder Programme - open at a reduced rate until the end of 2022!
Link to the article referenced: Non Coercive Marketing: A Primer
I’ve got space in my diary to sit down with you and find out about your business, your life and what you really want from it all - book your free strategy session with me here.
+ Click here to read the transcript
Episode 28: Why Your Work Isn't Selling
In this episode I want to explore some of the reasons why your work might not be selling the way you want it to. And even though it might feel like this question – "why is my work not selling more?" - has any number of possible answers to it – I want to focus down into three.
I’ve been working with hundreds of businesses over the last six years and I know how tricky selling is, especially for women, so I have witnessed first hand (and in my own business) the common stuff that gets in the way of seeing those sales come in. And so in this episode I want to offer the top three things that I see business owners often missing that are really worth a deeper consideration…
1) Positioning
2) Offering
3) Visibility Vulnerability
Listen in for practical advice on how to shift your thinking and action around these things and let me know how you get on!
If you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to the footnotes from the podcast!: https://www.melwiggins.com/sign-up
AND ** I am beginning to offer FREE 20 min strategy sessions for female business owners who might want to reshuffle or build their business in ways that are more sustainable and regenerative for their energy and income. If that’s you and you’d like to have a chat (this isn’t a sales call, it’s purely a coaching call) about what that could look like in your business, the link to book a slot is here: https://melwiggins.as.me/?appointmentType=36668849 **
Feel free to get in touch if any of this connects and you want to chat more:
email: hello@melwiggins.com
+ Click here to read the transcript
Hello and welcome back to Courage Is Calling. How are you? Uh, it's likely that you are probably tuning in today because you are maybe a business owner. Uh, maybe create things. Products or services that you really want to get out there into the world, into the hands of people who will love them. And it's also likely that you're tuning in because you saw the title of this episode.
Um, and that we're gonna be talking about sales and you would love to be selling more of the wonderful, smart, helpful things that you are creating. Um, I. I reckon I am, because ultimately that is what business is about, right? Making sure that your product or service generates income. It sells well, so it can sustain and regenerate.
Profit in your business so you can pay your bills, have fun. Enjoy your life. Keep creating and keep doing the work that you love. So, so in this episode today, I want to explore. I wanna explore some of the reasons why your work might not be selling in the way that you want it to. And even though this might fail this question, this, why is my work not selling more?
It's really good. Why is it not selling? Can have. Any number of answers to it, like a whole bunch of, there could be a whole bunch of things going on as to why your work might not be selling in the way you want it to. I today wanna focus down in two three, because let me tell you, I have had front row seat.
To hundreds of businesses. Over the last six years, I have worked with so, so many amazing women creating amazing things, and I know how tricky selling is, especially for women. So I've been able to witness firsthand and because I'm a business owner myself, and I have to do this myself. I've been able to witness so many of the common things that get in the way of seeing those seals come in.
And so in this episode, I wanna try and offer my top three things that I see business owners often missing that are really worth deeper consideration. And those things are one, positioning, two offering, and three visibility, vulnerability. Are you with me? Let's dive in. Let's talk about some of the practicalities, and this is gonna be both the either stuff, stuff that's practical and the inner stuff that might be in the way of people lining up to buy your amazing stuff.
So let's first up, consider position. So when I say positioning, um, science, technical science, businessy, chat. But what I'm really talking about here is how you are framing your offers. And this takes into kind the way you are connecting, messaging, marketing, framing what it is you have to offer. You know, Megan Seals in your business is not a bike, just getting on the ground.
Putting your product or service out there, spewing off all the reams about what it is, and then crossing your fingers and hoping that someone needs it and is gonna buy it. It's not about detailing every aspect of what your product does, you know, on your website or your socials. It takes some understanding of where people are at that might be interested in or need your product to really make the connection.
It's that understanding. So for the most part, not a lot of people remember this, but when it comes to purchasing something people, us consumers are really, really interested in how something is gonna make them. So our messaging and our marketing needs to factor that in. Sure. I mean, me as much as anyone, like to know the details of the product, how much it costs, how it works, you know, all of that kind of granular stuff.
But ultimately, People connect to higher product or a service is going to change something for them or bring them a failing. So instead of selling from a place of details, try talking and sharing more about what kind of transformation your work brings. Now I know that there are lots of people out there who maybe offer more product based.
Uh, things or makers or creators that sometimes struggle with this part because you're thinking what kind of transformation is. Ceramic mug gonna bring, or this piece of art. But believe me when I say that there is a feeling transformation to be found in your product. So you're maybe thinking about how much easier this might be for people here providing services to speak to this.
But it isn't the case. Remember, people buy based on failings like . You only have to go to the grocery store on an empty stomach to say that or even think about the last thing that you bought for yourself. Think about that. Think about what was the last thing that you bought, whether it was online in a shop, and think about what failing you were after when you purchased it.
I bet that there is a failing attached to why you bought what you bought. So for me, I bought a candle the other day in TK Max because I wanted to feel cozy and warm is a and warm as the nights are getting colder. You know, if I'm not gonna put the hate on, I wanna be able to see that dance, that glow flicker on my mantle pace.
Just a signal to me that it's time to wind down, time to sit down, end of a long day like the candle I bought into the cozy kind of, um, stopping the day feeling. So when it comes to your work, how does what you make or create delight people? Or surprise them or bring pleasure or joy to them, cuz those are feelings too.
How will your food make them feel nourished or like it's a proper luxury treat that they can savor? Speak about how your pottery, or your clothes or your art brings a sense of personal or individual style, how it makes people feel satisfied or adds flare, or, uh, gives something of a sense of feeling finesse.
Or put together. This goes for product or service testimonials as well. So make sure that if you're using testimonials to talk about and validate your product, make sure when you get that feedback and you're asking those questions, you ask your customers or clients that have bought from you before to talk about this aspect.
So where were they before they had your work or your product? How do they feel now? What has shifted for them? What have they, What's the kind of process that they've gone through from before and after? Um, and, and have them talk about the feelings. Positioning means framing the feelings that your work brings in a way that people can recognize themselves in the.
Do not skip this bit. Do not get stuck in the details of the, It costs this much and it looks like this and this is what you get. Because this is how we connect and speak human to human with our customers and clients. So it's the first thing. Secondly, let's talk about offering. So when you've got your positioning right, You're speaking to the failings.
You're free in the failings so people can recognize themselves. It's time to offer. It's time to actually provide solutions to the failings your customers or clients are after. So it's one thing to understand your customer. How they fail, what kind of benefits they're after, what kind of transformation or failing they're looking for.
But now it's your job to step up to that with your solution, how you know your product or service can actually remedy that and let people have it. And what I see happening a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot, is that we have these offers. We know maybe how to position them. We're doing that work and we're excited about people wanting them or needing them, and all the beauty that comes in that customer to maker or creator transaction.
And so we, we start to show up and post about it on social media or send that email and we sit back and expect the sales cart to go mad to sell out quickly. You know, this whole cell and art thing. Is actually lies that we are told by hustle culture. It is very rare that things sell out. Go viral, sales court goes mad six figure.
All of that nonsense is really rare. So, and it's really like messing us up when it comes to selling because we have these expectations or possibilities in our head. Um, or we think that people are just gonna find our stuff magically and just want it right away. But it doesn't work like this, my friends.
And unfortunately this is where often a lot of us start to lose our nerve and start doing what I call the slow tiptoe away from our offerings. Like, just kidding. And pretend you didn't see that post. I didn't really create this. Gotta go. Nobody seems to want it. Um, we cannot just post about something once or twice and expect it to sell really easily.
Um, this part of the process, this requires so much nerve holding and showing up and staying committed to this part of the work. And the chances are if you have something to offer, you are likely not talking about it. and for a whole host of reasons that I'll get into in our third point. So either you aren't talking about it enough or you're maybe talking about it a bit cryptically instead of being bold and asking people to buy from you or work with you.
So I want you to just right now, realistically count in your head how many times you have actively, boldly and clearly. Asked for the seal or asked for someone to buy from you this week on social media in your emails. And what I'm not saying when I'm saying my talk about asking for the seal, what I'm not saying, Is that you have to be pushy or manipulative or cringy here, you know, asking for the sale for the transaction.
It isn't about begging or forcing. I am not asking you to step away from what I'm sure some of your values are around authenticity or connection. What I'm actually asking you to do is to step into those values. because to know that you have solutions or something of value or something that could inspire or delight or help someone and not showing up and telling people about how they can get it, that is actually not activating your values of authenticity or connection.
Is it? So by hiding your offers, by using vague language, dancing around or tiptoeing around your offers isn't actually providing the authentic connection that you really can't provide. You can't offer and sell your stuff clearly, and with integrity every single. You can show up on social media or to your email list every day and make sure that whoever is ready or interested in your work knows how to get it and doesn't, It doesn't have to mean anything just cuz you're showing up every day with your own integrity, with authentic connection at the core.
Doesn't mean anything that you might be making it mean about you. Please, please do not ghost your community. When you think no one wants what you have to offer, show up for them. Show up for yourself and keep letting those who may need to know what you have to offer. Know, do it regularly. Do it often, and do it with conviction because you believe in your own work.
And this brings me to my final point, and this is a big one, and that is the failings that come up with this stuff. The vulnerability of the offering and the showing. It is truly hard internal work to plug your offers. It really is. I am doing this. I see this in my clients. It is the most talked about thing in my coaching sessions, and it requires a lot of risk and vulnerability.
Initially, it creates. Like risk and vulnerability to create something that you care about, you know, from a place of genuine love for your work, to have an idea and bring it up and nurture it and create it and put made on the bones of it, and then hold it out into the world. And like doing little cup tans here as I'm talking, like holding it out into the world and saying, Hey, come see this.
Do you, do you like it? Do you wanna buy? It's really good and I love it. I think you love it. You know that stuff is really vulnerable and you're, if you imagine that you have a risk aversion department in your brain, that department is going to be on high alert. It is going to be hoping that you back down your visibility and start to retreat to the safety of not being San.
To show up and sell your work or your product or service is going to require you to acknowledge that protective voice, that risk aversion department, and to recognize it when you start doing that slow tiptoe. To identify how it shows up when it comes to sharing about your work and asking people to buy from you or to engage with you.
And so this recognition stuff is so important. Uh, it's really key, um, to recognize how your self doubt shows up and what you tend to do when that happens. It's a huge component in mastering it so that you can get on with your beautiful work and that other people can have it and engage with it and buy it and love it.
So when you recognize it, and it might look like you tend to go quiet. Or you start spiraling into comparison or you start to stall because of perfectionism, or you absolutely ghost your audience, or you look for validation in the wrong places or with the wrong people, or you just numb out or. People plays or shrink back in.
Once you start to recognize your own tendencies around this stuff, then you can start to deploy some settling techniques to bring yourself back to your commitment to the work. Tend to your nervous system when this happens because it's likely to be highly activated. Reassure your risk aversion department that you know.
I'm curious about how this might actually work out for me. And you know what? Risk aversion department, you don't, you don't actually need to be on such high alert here. I'm gonna give this a go. Do the work to bring some calm reassurance. Back into your body and mind. That might look like journaling. It might look like getting into community with other business owners who are 100% likely to be feeling the same way about this, and you can find some solidarity there.
Or you could hire a coach and find that the co-regulation of having a coach and letting them do their job of helping you. Maintain your own loyalty to yourself and your work is a really great way to, um, calm and settle your nervous system around selling and showing up. So if you are finding that selling your stuff is just.
Like pulling teeth at the minute it's not working for you right now. You feel invisible, you're stuck, you're frustrated. You're starting to doubt yourself and your abilities. I want you to lean into these three things, positioning, offering, and the visibility, vulnerability, and tending to yourself and see what might shift for you and let me know if it does before I go.
I wanna let you know that for the next week. I am doing something that I have never done before. I am offering some free coaching slots, so these are free 20 minute strategy sessions, strategy sessions. It's hard to say for female business owners who. Might just wanna reshuffle or rethink how their business can become more sustainable, um, who wanna build their businesses for profit and for purpose with integrity, and have more fun and ease and enjoyment with it.
And if that's you and you'd love to have a chat. I would love to talk to you, um, about what this could look like for your business, for your setup. This is not a sales call. This is a coaching call and there are a limited number of slots, the link to big that is in the show notes. I would absolutely love to chat to you.
Uh, I wanna thank you for listening. Remember, feel free to share this episode on your own social media. Um, send it to your friend, you know, would, would love it or benefit from it, and know that until next time, I am here behind this microphone and I am chairing you right on.
Episode 27: Common Hiding Techniques: Paralysis
Welcome back to Courage Is Calling! I’m going to get stuck straight into the final part, Part 3 of the ‘What’s Your Method of Hiding’ series by talking about Paralysis. If you’ve missed Part 1 on Perfectionism and Part 2 on Procrastination, feel free to head back and listen to those.
But for now let’s talk about paralysis. Because it has a bit of a different edge to procrastination and perfectionism.
Paralysis may be showing up in your life as real avoidance of decision making and action. It may be showing up in your life as feeling overwhelmed and it may show up in your life by allowing other people to make decisions for you and give you direction.
If you're feeling stuck in inaction and overwhelm, let this episode give you what I believe is the path back to self-trust and growth.
Don't forget to subscribe to the footnotes from the podcast!: https://www.melwiggins.com/sign-up
Feel free to get in touch if any of this connects and you want to chat more:
email: hello@melwiggins.com
IG: https://www.instagram.com/melwiggins/
AND ** I am beginning to offer FREE 20 min strategy sessions for female business owners who might want to reshuffle or build their business in ways that are more sustainable and regenerative for their energy and income. If that’s you and you’d like to have a chat (this isn’t a sales call, it’s purely a coaching call) about what that could look like in your business, the link to book a slot is here: https://melwiggins.as.me/?appointmentType=36668849 **
+ Click here to read the transcript
Episode 26: Common Hiding Techniques: Procrastination
Today I want to get stuck into part 2 of our series on 'What's Your Method of Hiding' and have a little look at procrastination.
Do you consider yourself a procrastinator? Do you always find something else to do instead of the thing you know you supposed to be doing? Do you find yourself faffing with peripheral stuff more than tackling the real needle-moving tasks? Are you currently procrastinating by listening to this podcast? If you are – I want you to stay here. Procrastinate a bit longer, because I want to offer an alternative way of thinking about how we see procrastination and why we do it.
It occurs to me that when it comes to berating ourselves for what we might be calling ‘procrastinating’ there are actually a few more intricate things to consider and be self-aware about:
1) Are you actually procrastinating? Or are you overworking?
2) Are you actually procrastinating? Or are you overwhelmed?
3) Are you actually procrastinating? Or are you feeling vulnerable about doing the work that might actually be true to you because it feels exposing and requires you to be visible?
Let’s look at each of these more closely in this episode.
Feel free to get in touch if any of this connects and you want to chat more:
email: hello@melwiggins.com
IG: https://www.instagram.com/melwiggins/
*And don't forget to subscribe to the footnotes from the podcast! Click here to get my bi-weekly emails: https://www.melwiggins.com/sign-up
+ Click here to read the transcript
Welcome back. My friends to courage is calling today. I wanna guest stuck into part two of our series on what's your method of hiding and have a little look at procrastination. Hmm. So do you consider yourself a procrastinator? Uh, do you always find something else to do instead of the thing that you know you're supposed to be doing? Do you find yourself faffing with all the peripheral stuff more than tackling the real needle? Moving tasks? Are you currently procrastinating by listening to this podcast? if you are, I want you to stay here, stay here and procrastinate a little bit longer, because I want to offer an alternative way of thinking about how we view procrastination and why we do it. So I did a survey early on in 2022 with, I think it was almost a hundred female business owners that responded to this about some of the ways that they're feeling stuck in their work. Um, things that they wish they had a magic wand to fix. And let me tell you over and over. Over and over again, I read answers from these female business owners about time management and failing. Like they were procrastinating and you know what? I totally get it. I get why that would be, um, A real area of feeling out of control or not measuring up because we live in a really high functioning society at the minute where productivity is applauded and also rewarded. And we are conditioned to feel like we should be human doings instead of human beings. And that narrative just like runs deep to the core. And then of course, with us as women. Way more acutely aware of how scrutinized we still are in the workplace, in the marketplace. Um, it's no wonder that we feel compelled to always be on, to be task orientated and action orientated less. We let down the female side. Um, and there's also a level of shame. I think that surrounds this idea of, of procrastination and that shame locks us into a cycle that can be really, really hard to get out of. So we shame ourselves for not tackling something or doing the thing that we know we're supposed to do. And. Then that sham, sham as an emotion isn't motivating or activating. And then we build the tasks up to be something huge in our head because the sham is lingering around and then we continue to avoid it and rinse and repeat. And actually, um, there's this doctor called Dr. Cirrhosis, sorry, Dr. CS. Um, is her name and she's a professor of psychology at the university of Sheffield. And she said the thoughts we have about procrastination, typically exacerbate or distress and stress, which contribute to further procrastination. But the momentary relief we fail when procrastinating is actually what makes the cycle, especially VASc vicious in the immediate present. Putting off a task provides relief. You've been rewarded for procrastinating, and we know we don't need to be a psychologist to know basic psychology that when we're rewarded for something, we tend to wanna do it again. And so that's why procrastination tends to be a cycle and one that easily can keep us locked and shame. But it also occurs to me that when it comes to Shing or berating ourselves for what we might be considering calling procrastination, uh, there might actually be a few more intricate things that we might need to be more self-aware about and ask ourselves about one. Are you actually procrastinating or are you over working? Two. Are you actually procrastinating or are you overwhelmed and three, are you actually procrastinating or are you feeling vulnerable about doing the work that might actually be true to you? Because it feels exposing and requires you to be visible. So three questions let's look at each of these one. Are you actually procrastinating or are you overworking? It is fully possible that you are stalling or avoiding certain tasks because you are overworked. Might it be that you actually are tired and find the thought of a particular task. Really exhausting. Might it be that you have packed your schedule really full. So other things that might help to support you or that might move the needle are just not possible for you to get stuck into. It really, it really is possible that what you are viewing as procrastination might actually be a stress response to your workload. And I want you to consider how much space you leave around tasks. How much margin do you give yourself to complete things? Are you actually asking a lot of yourself considering the other work that you have going on? The other things that are going on in your life? If this thing that you are procrastinating on is going to require a lot of emotional or physical energy from you, would it not make sense to leave extra, extra space for that instead of holding yourself to really impossible standards of productivity, it's just a thought you might wanna consider before you shame yourself for not being productive, because rest is also productive. Rest is fuel, and then secondly, it's worth consider. Are you actually procrastinating or are you overwhelmed? Uh, usually when we think of procrastinating, we assume that there's a bit of laziness happening. It's definitely the kinda stereotype that comes up in my head. When I think about procrastination is, is it equals a little bit of laziness, but actually it's very, very seldom that our procrastination looks like being idle. Usually. Procrastination means that we're finding something else to occupy our time, whether that is feeling like you've gotta just tidy your office space. And I get that because I love to work in a tidy, spacious environment or, you know, I gotta clear out. My laptop, desktop full of all these documents in the folder, eyes, everything, blah, blah, blah. You know, so it's not that we're not actually doing things when we procrastinate. We're often just choosing to do something else. Another doctor, Dr. Tim cycle, he's a professor of psychology and also a member of, um, the procrastination research group at Carlton university in Ottawa. And he suggests actually that procrastination is an emotional regulation problem. Not a time management problem. It's not some sort of unique character flaw or curse on your ability to manage time. But actually it's a way of coping with emotions and associations with certain tasks. And that could be overwhelm. It could be boredom. It could be frustration. It could be resentment. It could be self doubt, et cetera, which actually then nicely leads me onto to. The third question that I think's important to reflect on. Are you actually procrastinating or are you feeling vulnerable about doing work that might actually be so true to you because it feels exposing and requires you to be visible. See, when you're faced with a task that makes us feel vulnerable, exposed, or insecure, the amygdala, which is this like warning part, this threat detector, part of our brains, perceives that task. As a genuine threat, it feels like a genuine threat to your amygdala, to that part of your brain. And in this case, it's a threat to potentially your self-esteem, maybe your sense of belonging or your ego. And even though we know in our intellect that putting off the task is gonna create more stress for ourselves in the future, our Brien is still wired to just actually be more concerned with removing the threat. Immediately and researchers call this the amygdala hijack. So actually procrastination becomes the thing that we distract ourselves with in order to maintain that inner safety. Procrastination becomes the thing we distract ourselves with in order to maintain that inner safety. And in all of this at its core, procrastination is about emotions, not productivity or lack of ability or prayer time management. The solution to feeling like you're always procrastinating is not in an app that blocks social media or in some sort of time blocking exercise or in punishing ourselves to get things done. It's ultimately about managing our emotions in a new way. And if we want to look at how to manage our cycles of procrastination, we need to go deeper than the surface. Although those things can be helpful. We need to go deeper than the surface and think about what it means to operate from a place of self forgiveness. And self-compassion. Because when we treat ourselves with kindness and understanding, and particularly recognizing that our brains are often having moments of vulnerability or perceiving a threat to our ego, it allows for a much more self-supportive condition in which to move forward. In fact, There's been loads of studies now to show that self-compassion actually supports motivation and personal growth. And it not only does it decrease psychological distress, which we now know is really the primary culprit for procrastination. It also actively boosts motivation and it enhances our feelings of self worth and it fosters positive emotions like wisdom and curiosity and initiative. but best of all I think is that self-compassion actually doesn't require anything external of us. We don't have to do anything. It's just a real commitment to ourselves to meet our challenges. With greater acceptance and greater tenderness and greater kindness rather than shaming and bere ourselves. So I wonder how you can load more self-compassion and, and forgiveness into your wake so that you can truly move forwards to the things that you know are vulnerable. But that might just lead to a fuller sense of personal fulfillment and impact. Maybe this episode is just what you needed to hear in order to understand yourself more tenderly, um, and to understand what's behind the ways that you're hiding through procrastination. As always, I'd love to hear, um, hi, or if this episode lands for you, so you can feel free to reach out to me on my email. Um, and you can reach me on hello@melwiggins.com or you can, um, message me on Instagram. Uh, and my handle is at Mel Wiggins. I will be back with part three of the series on what's your method of hiding Barry very soon. Thanks for listening.
Episode 25: Common Hiding Techniques: Perfectionism
As I was preparing and planning for what I wanted to cover on the podcast in this next season, I started thinking about some of the common things that are keeping us from building courage and being brave and through my work coaching women running businesses I’ve had a pretty good front row seat to all of the sneaky ways that I see fear showing up and keeping us from sharing our work, our ideas and our thoughts. So I thought it would be a good time to dig into some of these common methods of hiding that maybe you can identify with. Some of them are pretty obvious, but today I want to start with one that I know all too well – it’s one of my most common methods of hiding that I use to protect me from vulnerability and it’s also a really sneaky one for women (I’ll explain in a bit) and that, my friends, is perfectionism.
I know there are women listening to this podcast who have important messages to share but whose self-doubt and fear is keeping them quiet or hidden. I know there are women listening to this podcast who think maybe think that perfectionism doesn’t relate to them or that their perfectionism is just "attention to detail".
I know that so many of us are caught up in the myth that we need to be more something – more qualified, more prepared, more expert, more influential, more polished – than we are in order to share our ideas or work or to try and develop something that we really want to.... this episode is for you.
Feel free to get in touch if any of this connects and you want to chat more:
email: hello@melwiggins.com
IG: https://www.instagram.com/melwiggins/
*And don't forget to subscribe to the footnotes from the podcast! Click here to get my bi-weekly emails: https://www.melwiggins.com/sign-up
+ Click here to read the transcript
Oh, Hey there. Welcome back to normal broadcasting friends at the summer is just closing and we are back into full back to school mode over here. So uniforms. Busy mornings lunch packs the whole bit, the whole bit. Um, and I hope that wherever you are, as you listen to this pep talk that you have a quiet moment to yourself, maybe a week cup of coffee as well. Um, it is good to be back recording for you. And as I was preparing and planning for what I wanted to cover on the podcast in this next season, I started thinking about some of the common things, um, that are keeping us from building courage and being brave. And through my work coaching women, running businesses, I've had a pretty good front row aid to all of the, the sneaky little ways that I see fear. Showing up and keeping us from sharing our work, our ideas, our thoughts, et cetera. So I thought it would be a good time to dig into some of these common methods of hiding that maybe you can identify with. So this is gonna be, um, a little series of, of episodes all around that. And some of the common methods of hiding are pretty obvious. Uh, but today I wanna start with one that I know all too well. , it's one of my most common methods of hiding that I use, uh, to protect me from vulnerability. And it's also a really sneaky one for women, especially, and I'll explain why and a bit, and that my friends is perfectionism. And I know there are women listening to this podcast who have important messages to share, but who self doubted fear is keeping them quiet or hidden. And I know that there are women listening to this podcast who maybe even think that perfectionism doesn't relate to them. and I know that so many of us are caught up in the myth, the myth that we need to be more, something maybe more qualified, more prepared, more expert, more influential, more polished than we are in order to share our ideas or our work, or to try and develop something that we really want to. So before we talk specifically about perfectionism as a method of hating, let's get into a little bit of background. So. In historical patriarchal culture, dying through the centuries. Women have been excluded from political public and professional life. We have not, and, you know, continue to not be considered in legislation, in voting in policies, in pay discrepancies, in lack of legal protections and the denial of women's basic rights and all of. External exclusions through the years has absolutely had an internal and emotional and maybe even a physiological effect on us as women. It has shaped how we think of ourselves and what we see as possible for our lives and work. It has shaped our fears, fears of speaking up of rocking the boat of not pleasing other people because often and less of all times. Our livelihoods and CFD actually did depend on us being small and quiet and keeping the status quo. and one of the mechanisms of actual protection for us has been hiding whether we recognize it or not. We have hidden ourselves, our ideas, our talents, and, uh, survival instincts to avoid conflict or criticism or any kind of emotional exposure. Right. That might cost us. We have hidden. And the result is that we, we end up people pleasing, maybe even using language that is softer to avoid being singled out. And essentially we have not felt fully free to take action in our own lives. And the cost of doing this is really high. It costs us our autonomy. It costs us our fulfillment, our creativity, our financial wellbeing, our emotional wellbeing, and the list goes on. So. Along with some of the more obvious ways that we continue to hide in that hangover of exclusion and desire for CFD. I want to also address some of the more evolved ways that we are hiding the ones that don't necessarily risk our physical CFD anymore, but that absolutely do risk our emotional CFD. I wanna try and expose some of the ways that we might not realize we're hiding so that we can start to think a little bit about how that is actually showing. In our own lives. So we can begin to come out of the shadows, come out of hiding and live a bit more freely and fully. And you know, for me, and I know for many others, perfectionism is the sneakiest of these because here's why on the surface office, perfectionism actually shows up as productive. Okay. And productivity feels very proactive. But often that acute sense of, um, productivity, which actually looks like overcorrecting and overplanning and overing and being overly attentive to the work is actually keeping us from letting our ideas or our products or our services. Get out there into the wild to be seen and noticed and to breathe. So what looks like on the outside is us doing stuff to be ready. Um, but not quite letting the works see the light of day properly and we can trick our brain. This is why it's sneaky. We can trick our brain into thinking that our perfectionism, because it's productive, we're doing stuff that it is the work. that we are doing something, but actually most of us are not really taking the risk to really put our stuff out there to be visible and to let our thoughts out there and our products and services out there where they can live and breathe and become perfectionism can look like adding on. It can look like over complicating. It can look like endless polishing. Um, and often this perfection seeking really can be avoidance. , you know, instead of putting something out there that is good enough, maybe it's a website that we think needs all the bells and whistles before anyone's allowed to interact with it. Maybe it's a product that we're making, but we think it needs, you know, professional photography before we share about it or show people, or maybe it's a business idea that we think needs three clear and strategic offerings and funnels and freebase before we launch it to PayPal. Um, BNE Bryan talks about perfectionism a lot and she calls it the 20 ton shield that we log around trying to protect us. When in fact it's really preventing us from being seen. And I see that perfectionism for me is often a Gise that we use to guard ourselves from all angles. So covering all of the bases, extra, extra carefully by busying ourselves over minutiae spending, endless time agonizing over how things look or sound and trying to combat any potential criticism before it comes. And the thing is that it actually leads us into a really vicious cycle of she. Because, you know, perfectionism is often possession as a noble quality, something to strive for. Oh, you're so good at details. You're really in the details. when actually it's not only impossible to achieve perfection or a level of perfection that will ever be good enough in our minds, but if we fix it on it and inevitably. Find that no matter how much effort we put, put in, or how much perfecting we do, we're likely to be met with some form of criticism or judgment. We then tell ourselves that judgment or criticism has come because it wasn't perfect enough. And so the cycle of Shem starts to swirl around. I could have done more. I could have made it better when really the problem is the logic of perfectionism that we've been battling. The logic of perfectionism is actually the thing that is faulty here and not one single person. Let me tell you who is out there doing the work, sharing their idea. And putting themselves out there is actually immune from criticism or judgment, no matter what level of perfectionism they think they can execute to protect themselves. But what we can do instead of hiding by way of perfectionism is try to do our best. And what we can do is be proud of how we show up for ourselves and our ideas, despite any flaws that might appear or any judgment that may follow. And what we can do is put down the armor of perfectionism and allow our ideas to be seen and heard so that ultimately, so that we can learn about them and go through the unavoidable process of our ideas becoming. of them just becoming and evolving rather than hoping that they come out perfect. The first time outta the get. And when it comes down to it. Trying and having a go is a really self supportive way to operate. And it offers us compassion and curiosity about the things that we are doing perfectionism on the other hand actually is centered around others and what they think, how they might respond to our work. And it actually takes us out of the equation of the thing that we're working on. It's, it's focused on what other people are gonna think and not what we think. And that's not a supportive or sustainable way to approach these creations or these services or ideas or products that have been brewing in our souls. We don't wanna hand all of that over to the opinions of others. Because of perfectionism. And so within all of this, I want you to know that it's actually so understandable that we would want to hide in this way because risk in being sane or being judged is actually really viscerally scary, and our body knows it. So if you're listening to this and you're thinking, this is me, please, don't double down into shame in yourself. But let it be a call to freedom for you to know that perfect. Isn't really going to protect you. And actually you're more resilient than you realize. And ultimately no, that you're hiding is a huge loss for the rest of the world. That so many incredible ideas and thoughts and wisdom and talents are not being seen, not heard and not shared because we are hiding or fixated on perfection as a, a form of protection. And when amazing women. Like you hide their ideas, their thoughts or creations, then the world misses out. It misses out on expressions of goodness, of insight, of beauty, of delight, of honesty of empathy. Of innovation and we need you, we need your imperfect thoughts, ideas, and creations to be out there in the world so we can find them. And so you can enjoy the fulfillment of creating something of your own. That feels important and true. Thanks for listening. As always I'll be back again soon with part two of this series on hiding with another exploration, into the ways our protective self shows up to limit us and keep us small. Don't forget to share this post with any of your perfectionist friends. Give me a shout out, um, on email, if you have any questions, uh, you can reach me at hello@melwiggins.com or just in the Instagram DMS. And my handle is at Mel Wiggins. Um, so if any of this connects, um, you can give me a shout there and make sure to sign up. To the email footnotes from the podcast, which I send every other week. And you can get those by getting onto my mailing list and the directions to do that. And the links to do that are in the show notes. And I'll be back talking to you real soon.
Episode 24: The Four Stages of Business Evolution
I want to spend this episode sharing with you a tool that I’ve been developing over the last little while. Its one that I use with my clients in my group programmes, so I thought I’d share it here in part and link to the full tool so you can download it and use it for free!
I’m calling it the Business Evolution Tool. I wanted to create something that clearly helped female business owners identify where they were in their business evolution or development and maybe notice some of the common issues that come up in these stages and give you some relevant action to take to help move along, to deepen your work and see it develop.
I’ve grouped them into four stages of evolution: Infancy, Growing Pains, Adolescence and Maturing.
GET ACCESS TO THE FULL TOOL HERE: https://melwiggins.ck.page/3236b51b2d
I also want to let you know that my 8 month group coaching programme for female business owners, the Accelerator Programme is now open for enrolment for a September 2022 start. You can check all the info on that out here, maybe even book a chat with me to see if it's the right thing for you! https://www.melwiggins.com/accelerator
I'd love to hear what you think of the tool, so please feel free to email me and let me know at hello@melwiggins.com
+ Click here to read the transcript
Episode 23: The Myth Of Being “Affordable”
In this episode I want to talk about pricing.
It’s safe to say that so much of the struggle to price what we do or offer comes down to our feelings. OUR BIG BIG FEELINGS! The emotion that we are attaching to money and prices and other peoples perception and our worthiness etc.
Our feelings tend to come first when we think about how to price: What does setting this price mean about me? Can I deliver on this price? Will I be good enough to live up to that price? Who am I to ask for this?
What I want to suggest is not that we leave our feelings at the door when it comes to pricing, because we know that a) it’s not possible and b) we want to include our humanity, our empathy and care in our business in lots of ways.
What I want to suggest is maybe that we need to tackle some of the particular mindset stuff that comes up that can sometimes be clouded by our feelings. So today I want to start with the idea of pricing to be affordable. Listen in for some advice on how not to get sucked in by the myth of affordability and how to factor yourself into your pricing.
My Leadership Accelerator Programme for Female Business Owners starts in September 2022! Click here to book a free chat with me to see if this is the right next move for you
+ Click here to read the transcript
Episode 22: Managing Fear When You're Making Brave Moves
We can expect that if we’re going to make some bold or brave moves in our lives or businesses or ideas, that we shouldn’t hold out for a sense of confidence. It’s likely not going to show up in the way you think it is. If you are waiting to feel confident about doing something brave before you do it – you might be waiting forever. Because the inner protector or inner guard is built within you to show up.
So we need to adopt some tools and skills to teach our brain that it is ready to evolve past the freeze, flight, flight and fawn responses that serve us well when it comes to certain types of threat or harm so that we can respond well to the fear that shows up when we move towards more aligned and exciting desires for ourselves.
The good news is that adopting some of these tools actually isn’t all that hard so I'm giving you a few key prompts that will help you keep going when you have brave moves to make!
My Leadership Accelerator Programme for Female Business Owners starts in September 2022! Put your info into this document and I'll send you a detailed info pack! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rLxmc_n19JbdlHCmFsFC7LuYmLQUy1krAPNrBvje9V4/edit
MAKE SURE YOU'RE SIGNED UP TO THE PODCAST NEWSLETTER HERE: https://www.melwiggins.com/sign-up
+ Click here to read the transcript
Episode 21: To Be A Woman Of Influence
The title of what I want to talk about today is ‘To Be A Woman Of Influence?’ - understanding what influence means at this time in our culture and see how we can understand it and harness it for good in our work, our businesses and lives.
I want to caveat this episode by letting you know that this is not a talk about the benefits or dangers of influencer marketing – this is so much bigger than that. There is no shame to be scattered here today. But influence as a concept has got me really curious because I feel like right now at this time in culture, it’s a word that’s skewed and it’s significant that we understand what it means and how we can harness it to do some good in the world. Some good that our world desperately needs.
I’m hoping that what I share here will give us all some insight into what it means to cultivate influence in a way that actually makes a difference - that shifts us away from the idea of influence being about consuming and see it more through the lens of contribution or contributing.
If you are interested in creating more influence in your business, I am beginning to take application for my Leadership Accelerator Programme for Female Business Owners. The link to apply is here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rLxmc_n19JbdlHCmFsFC7LuYmLQUy1krAPNrBvje9V4/edit
SIGN UP TO THE COURAGE IS CALLING NEWSLETTER HERE: https://www.melwiggins.com/sign-up