Assembly Autumn Gathering

A fortnight ago, in the twilight of a mild October evening, 20 creative women gathered to share food, conversation and a little creativity. The idea of what is now Assembly Gatherings is something that mulled around my head for quite some time.  I love the creative community that social media, particularly Instagram has provided me with, but for me there is nothing like properly meeting people in the flesh, and hearing their voices and stories.  I hoped that I wasn't alone in that desire, in needing that creative community to be propelled into real life so I thought it might be good to trial getting a small gathering of people together for an evening of simple pleasures like eating, making and chatting.

Thankfully everyone I talked to was excited by the idea and I got the sense that it was something we were all craving - that tangible experience outside of phones and laptop screens and working solo to bring our creative lives to the fore.  Looking back, I'm so grateful for these ladies who came, taking a chance on this event, signing up and coming out knowing very little about what they were coming to.  It was brave of them and I'm so glad they did.

It's funny to use the term 'creative' as a criteria for those attending, as I know many of them wouldn't necessarily prescribe to that title - but to me being a creative person is so open, so wide.  There were people there in various professions - some in full-time creative work (photographers, musicians, artists, designers) and some working hard in other important roles who also need the intentional nourishment of creativity community because it's in their bones to make and create.

I had my heart set on an outdoor event - dinner and a workshop in an orchard in the Autumn.  Assembly is intentionally a seasonal gathering.  I feel like it helps keep us connected to certain rhythms in our year and is a nice way to give a nod to nature and the changes going on around us - maybe even inspire us differently in some way when we stop to notice these seasons change.  In some senses, an outdoor event setting keeps things really relaxed and informal but in another way it can be intimidating - no walls to lean against, corners to hide in etc.  Just all of us, outside, under the big sky and the heaving apple trees.

Our venue was in the most beautiful orchard, owned by the McKeever family where they run a local business producing cider here in Portadown.  We were welcomed by them with such incredible hospitality and warmth and I am so grateful to Pat, Peter and the family for going out of their way to accommodate us and take a risk on my idea.

Everyone arrived, trickling into the orchard for hot cider - a little anticipation in the air about what the night would hold.  It was lovely to see people meet each other in real life that had long been friends online and to listen to conversations begin and people start to connect.

To be honest, I am a novice when it comes to making something like this happen.  I love ideas, concepts and visions for things but I knew that I needed some help in bringing these ideas to life.  Thankfully the totally amazing Grace from Grace & Saviour came on board to help execute the feel of the event and we were on the same page from the very beginning about it all.  We shared ideas over pinterest boards and spreadsheets and I think it's safe to say that Grace's expert styling touches really made the whole evening magical.  It was exactly how I imagined it would be.

Once everyone had arrived and was warmed by the cider, we dug into a bit of making.  I met Elizabeth through Instagram and love how creative she is with flowers and photography so I asked her if she would host a little bit of a workshop to help ease everyone into the gathering.  Making is such a leveller, eh?  There is something so distracting and wondrous about putting things together with your hands that can really get conversation going and loosen us up (that and the cider).  Elizabeth gorgeously arranged some making stations where everyone could have a go at putting together their own smudge sticks - tied bunches of flowers and herbs that can be hung and dried and then burned in the home to offer a relaxing and cleansing fragrance.  Everyone got stuck in and I think it helped us all relax into the evening.

After the making, we all gradually moved to the table - now laden with bread, oils and crudites.  The night had fallen and so we sat in the middle of the orchard and feasted by the light of candles and festoon lights hung from the apple trees.

I was so glad to enlist the wonderful Sarah from Little Pink Kitchen to take care of the food for the gathering.  I have long admired Sarah's work, her journey to launching the business she loves and she has such a brilliant creative way with food.  We invited attendees to bring their favourite bread for sharing and Sarah took care of the rest.  From crudites, oils, stews and homemade cinnamon madelines, Sarah made sure all the food was locally sourced and she put such a delicious spin on the menu that it can only be described as cozy autumnal heaven in your tummy. We were all blown away by how incredible the grub was and Sarah was so relaxed about it all - basically catering in the dark for most of the evening!

I was unnecessarily worried about conversation flowing beforehand so I prepared some questions and thoughts to get everyone chatting - totally unnecessary!  It was really amazing to see the honesty flowing around the table - sharing about what it means to 'have it all', the struggles to maintain priorities and creativity amidst our busy lives.  I'm still relishing in some of those conversations had and those overheard as we sat together, dipping breads, drinking cider and sharing.

After dinner we moved back to finish the evening gathered around the fire, drinking hot chocolate, devouring Sarah's homemade cinnamon madelines and toasting marshmallows.  We brought blankets but the night was mild and I spent a bit of time reading from Liz Gilbert's 'Big Magic' on how we are born creative - it was a passage that came as a relief to me when I first read it so I thought I would share it with everyone.

From that we went around and each shared our journey and what our creative pursuits look like.  It was such an encouragement to listen to each other and find space to be vulnerable about where life has taken us.

We finished the night lighting sparklers, promising to stay in touch and exchanging contact details with new friends.  Yes, it was a bit like Girl Guide camp, but with less spider bites and crying for your parents to come and pick you up. Such an inspiring group of talented people; an honour to be around and learn from.

Sigh!  I want to do it all again right. now.  Plans are swirling around for the Winter Gathering and ways to develop this idea of meeting together for simple pleasures and creating community around our mutual love of creative things.  I know there is such a deep pool of creative and inspiring people doing amazing things here in Northern Ireland and our numbers for the first one could have been huge.  I hope to open this out for others seeking the same space and will be releasing information over the next number of weeks and months ahead of the next one to my newsletter subscribers.  I'm sending out my November newsletter this weekend which will have some extra info about what we discussed at Assembly, including our manifesto - so if you want in on the action, please do sign up at the bottom here.

In all, I think its good and important to take time out to do what brings you to life, what keeps your spark alive and helps you connect with people that understand you.

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Big thanks again to Ben from Angel & Anchor for the Assembly branding, to Grace from Adam & Grace Photography for capturing the gathering in these beautiful images, Grace & Saviour for styling, Elizabeth for hosting the workshop, Sarah from Little Pink Kitchen for her mad cooking skills and the McKeevers for allowing us to take over their orchard during the busy harvest season.  AND - my awesome parents for helping with the set up, washing dishes, lighting fires and taking care of the baby while I hosted.  What a team! 

Creativity & Caring About the World - Can We Do Both?

While we were away on holidays I got to listen to some podcasts.  Having a baby that feeds 2 hourly through the night will give you that kind of time. I was really excited to see that Liz Gilbert had started Season Two of the Magic Lessons podcast - you may remember me talking about how it blew my mind last year here.  This season includes more of the same - readers give Liz their creative dilemma, she (and some of her expert friends) pep talk them through it and help them unpack and move ahead in their creative pursuits.  It's a really valuable listen, at least it has been for me.  I caught up with the first episode in this series and it really struck a chord - I'll explain why in a bit.

You may know that most of my working life has been spent tackling issues of injustice and exclusion:  various roles have seen me bringing diverse cultures together in contentious communities, raising awareness of human trafficking and exploitation, supporting homeless women, finding diversionary activities for young people that society has written off, making sure people get the right coffee in the right sized cup in speedy time.  OK, so that drive-thru Tim Horton's job in High School might not have been a strategic career move towards humanitarian work, but I did get to make people happy by giving them donuts, so yeah.  Small things are important too.

That's me up there giving all the serious chat at an anti-slavery exhibition.  Serious Mel.  MBE Mel.  Down with all the terrible things in the world Mel.

Anyway, you can see that much of my life gravitates to the big issues; to playing a small part in changing things from the front line and I count it a huge privilege to do what I do - I freaking LOVE my job.  I grew up in a house full of compassion and was exposed to lots of ways we could help others so it is pretty natural for me to end up here where I am, doing what I do.

Being on the front line of any kind of work like this can be consuming - it can make you serious and heavy hearted and feisty and strong.  It can also make you question just about everything, picking things apart, digging deep to find the roots of the problems; wanting to desperately scratch away all the red tape and distortions and misconceptions in order to see problems and issues for what they really are so you can begin to properly help.  It can be exhausting.

This is me.  And yet - this is not all of me.  There is also a part of me that craves frivolous creativity - and that's where things get interesting.  It's the part of me that loves mid-century interiors, fashion and whittling away the last moments of the day by the light of pinterest on my phone in bed; the part of me that loves music and singing and harmonising around the piano til the wee hours of the morning; that buys too many ceramic mugs because they speak to me from the depths of stinky charity shops; that loves to set a table all pretty, to make recipes that will nourish and comfort, to find the perfect light for a picture, to source the perfect fig scented candle, to hoard magazines and stationary just because they are beautiful to look at, to swoon over tiles and colour combinations and textures of fabrics.  All of these things are part of me too.  And so I struggled.

Up there, that's frivolous creative Mel.  Getting the right shot for a nice instagram pic Mel.  Pinterest Mel.  Beautiful stationary Mel.

For quite some time, and even sometimes still, I struggle to marry these two areas of my life.  Surely someone so serious about the darkest issues facing humanity cannot also care about beni ourain rugs?  Surely you can not get excited about setting a beautiful table for dinner and also be tuned into the turmoil of millions of our fellow humans being sold, displaced or exploited?  Surely the matters concerning the world right now are more important, more pertinent than any frivolity mentioned above?

This has been an on-going battle for me - coming to terms with my own creativity and allowing it to unashamedly be part of who I am.  Does everything I do or put out there in the world have to lead to something meaningful?  I know I'm not alone in this because I have talked to others in the same position - people who work on the front line of some of the most difficult issues, afraid to move in a creative realm for fear of losing their credibility or edge.  Afraid to tether themselves to anything too lighthearted in case it is mistaken for being shallow.  Interestingly, some of the most creative people I know are people who spend their day jobs dealing with the dark stuff of the world.  I wonder if there's not something more to be said about that?

What I have learned and am continuing to learn is this:  creativity - whether it is writing or drawing, photography or dance - will not be controlled.  It does not like to be bottled or treated like the enemy.  In fact, the more I lean into this tension in my life, the more I realise is that creativity is actually the ally of life on the front line.  It is not only the pressure release valve, but a middle finger up to all of the mess in the world.  Being true to your own creativity amidst a chaotic world is a beautiful, honest, necessary thing.  Itis not a scramble to erase the dark stuff, but an opportunity to drown it out by adding to the beauty. And oh, how the world needs us to add more beauty.  

In the first episode of this season of Magic Lessons, Liz talks to Jo - a woman who from a really young age wanted to be a comedy writer - she wanted to make people laugh.  Somehow, Jo ended up doing a PhD in Holocaust Studies and became a feminist campaigner! Hilariously ironically the opposite of a comedic author.  It was so refreshing to listen in to their conversation as Jo explained how she had stifled this desire and how eventually, the stress and strain of her heavy work led to her being physically ill and hospitalised.  By denying her creativity, not allowing that part of her make-up to also shine, her own body was objecting.  How incredible.  Liz gently talked her through this process of how she needs to allow herself to be creative - not to push it down as frivolous but to see it as a gift to a hurting world.  I just love that.

I am finding my own way through this tension, saying yes to creative ventures, acknowledging that part of who I am.  I don't worry so much about how that part of me comes across anymore because I know that it's healthy.  I love that creativity and caring for the world don't have to be mutually exclusive ways of life.  They merge and blend and contribute to the fullness of a world that is desperate for both truth and beauty, for help and inspiration.

Maybe this is you too?  It would be great to hear what you think about this.  Are you being true to all the areas of your life that make you come alive?  How do you give yourself permission to be creative and light in a world that is heavy and dark?

Sukhi - Supporting Women Artisans!

I'm officially declaring this The Week of the Woman!  You heard it here first.  It seems only fitting - On Saturday Aly and I launched #motherhoodalive on instagram (holy moly, you guys are amazing - I am LOVING being part of this little community on there already), then it was Mother's Day, then it was International Women's Day, and in the midst of all of this, we are over halfway through the annual campaign of Fairtrade Fortnight, which although isn't specifically arranged to champion women, it is rooted in the same values that ensure the equal and fair treatment of some of the most vulnerable in the world - a vast majority of whom are female - so it's all connected, you see? The Week of the Woman - has a ring to it, no?

In light of this, I want to draw your eyes to a beautiful company I've been getting to know lately - Sukhi.  In Nepali, Sukhi means 'happy' and when you read about how much importance this company puts on making both the customer and the artisans that make their products happy and well cared for you will see that it's a good fit for a name!  Sukhi specialises in unique and beautifully hand crafted rugs - let me tell you more...

All of the rugs that you see on the site are made in country (Nepal, India, Morocco, Turkey) by local makers, mostly women.  What I've loved hearing about is the dignity the work gives - each maker gets paid 2 or 3x the local rate of pay in safe conditions and by buying the rugs directly with Sukhi, all the middle men and retailers are cut out so the customer gets a fairer price too.

The whole process of making their signature felt ball rugs is mesmerising and involves such incredible artistry.  I love that it's made with natural materials and dyes and you can really tell the pride of the makers by the quality you recieve. Watch this video to see what I mean...

I chose one of the traditional felt ball rugs in a marbled grey to go in our bedroom.  You can literally chose any colour, pattern and size for whatever you are after (fully customisable) but I wanted something soft and neutral to give a bit of warmth to our bare wooden floors.

The detail that goes into making these is so mind-boggling - approximately 5000 felt balls to make up one rug!  Bonkers.  Such craftsmanship and patience!

The texture of the rug is really soft on your feet - Levi is especially a fan! Anyone that's been in our bedroom since we got the rug has commented on how stunning it is - not that there are hoards of people all up in our bedroom, but you know!

What's also beautiful is that you get a little tag with your rug that lets you know the name of the woman who made it and if you go to the website, you can even send her a little message to thank her and share how much you love the rug!  It's little extra personal touches like this that bring us closer to the people who make our stuff - it's so important we remember and I can't help but want to support companies like Sukhi for endeavouring to shrink the gap between the maker and the customer.

I'm going to be supporting Sukhi on my sidebar this year - so if you are in the market for a new rug for anywhere in your home, make sure you click over and check out the variety they have knowing that you are directly supporting some amazingly talented women around the world when you do!

Thanks to Sukhi for sending us this rug to review - I love to support and spotlight companies that are in keeping with my values & ethics so all thoughts and words are genuinely my own. 

Top 6 Tips for an Ethically Mindful Christmas

There's no denying it.  Christmas is in the air. It seems to happen earlier and earlier as each year passes, doesn't it?  Harvest and Halloween pass and boom - before we can dump the rotten pumpkins in the food bin we are drawn right in to the twinkly festivities and the pressure is on.

Some of us (not me) are stealthily organised, buying gifts during the year, storing them away so not to panic when the Christmas music starts to blare through the speakers in the town centre – a serenade to indicate that time is running out and the countdown to Christmas is well and truly on.

Others of us are less prepared – hoping that perfect gift idea will fall on our lap, jump out at us in the shop or more likely on our screens, with more of us opting for the ease of online shopping now than ever before.

It can be an incredibly stressful time, with to-do and to-buy lists as long as your arm. It’s easy to get swept up in the madness of it all, counting it as part of the ‘buzz’ or ‘atmosphere’ but as we begin to join in with the festive lead up, maybe there is a different example we can take that steers us gently away from the hype and the flashing lights. Maybe there is a way more reflective of the Christmas Story we know and love so well that we can tune our ears and hearts to – one of generosity, peace and of justice.

How can we be more mindful of the world around us in a culture that steers us to only think about ourselves?

Christmas and all of the associated Western trappings can have some pretty awful side effects on the World; on people and creation.  The tonnes of waste through non-recyclable wrapping paper, decorations, boxes and gift bags, heaps of unwanted presents, loan sharks preying on the vulnerable and people wracking up huge amounts of debt to keep up appearances. Surely there is a better way to do things?

Choosing to have a more ethical Christmas does not have to take away from the beauty of gift-giving, in fact, it only enhances that beauty. Once we delve deeper into alternative, more ethical options we can see that how we spend our money can add to the beauty of belonging to each other, bringing true ‘Joy to the World’.  Tell me now if you are tired of the Christmas Carol puns.  I could do this for days.

So what does it mean to buy ethically? 

Buying ethically is choosing to be an active consumer, rather than a passive one.

Buying ethically means taking the time to find out who makes our stuff and if it’s made in a way that respects people and the planet.

Buying ethically gives the power back to the consumer and in turn empowers others.

Buying ethically is a statement – another way of living out what we believe; that we are all connected and we are all valuable.

Although we still have a long way to go in terms of supply chain transparency it has never been easier to be mindful of who and what we give our money to. Progress is slow but it is being made and where we put our money makes a difference.

I'm not here to give you another gift guide today.  There are so many of those, and we all have different taste, so instead I offer my thoughts & top tips on how we can make Christmas more mindful & ethical this year:

1) Set Boundaries

Have an open discussion with your family about presents this year. This is a biggie - get other people on board.  Suggest a Secret Santa style of gift-giving – where each person draws a name and buys for only that person? Maybe you decide together to set a price limit on gifts? The pressure to buy and spend a certain amount of money can really dampen the joy of giving so why not live a little lighter this year by having those conversations early. Make presence, not presents your priority this year.

2) Buy Small

Who are the independent makers in your area? Who is working hard at a craft that is often overlooked for faster cheaper versions? Websites like etsy.com and folksy.com are great for finding beautiful one-off gifts where the profit goes directly to the maker. You can buy jewellery, art prints, hand-knit items and ceramics, even narrowing down your search to your local area in the knowledge that you are supporting a small business in a society where biggest seems best. Christmas is also the perfect time to buy from the beautiful artisan and food markets that pop up in City centres and town squares. Seek out the makers. This is what the Indie Christmas Giveaway is about after all!

3) Buy Selectively

There are some excellent shops both on the high street and online that are committed to sourcing their products from the most transparent supply chains. Beautifully curated online stores like Decorators Notebook, The Future Kept, and Ethical Superstore are great for finding unique gifts as well as everyday items. Supporting shops that are deliberating championing fair-trade and more ethically certified products is a great way to get what you need without compromising on quality or style.

4) Buy Differently

A few years ago we decided to buy our family alternative gifts from well-known charities. We bought my parents a goat, my brother some chickens and our friends got a toilet! Thing is, this goat lived in India and was actually given to a family in India on behalf of my parents to supply them with milk to drink or sell on, the chickens were in Bangladesh and the toilet was given to a family in Cambodia. There are numerous charities that now have gift options like these: you can buy sanitation supplies with Oxfam, toilets with Tearfund, or cows with Christian Aid. Every gift, given in the name of your loved one, is making a massive difference to people in the worlds poorest nations. *disclaimer - see point 1 about getting family on board before going down this route! When they expect an iPod dock and "get" sanitation supplies, it might not be received in the manner you expect...!*

5) Do Your Homework

Maybe now is the perfect time to look at what companies and brands are treating people and the planet with respect? Who is paying a living wage? Which manufacturers are dedicated to not creating more waste that is ruining creation? Websites like ethicalconsumer.com are great for spot-checking items to see which brands are leading the way (some content requires a subscription but lots of it is accessed for free). They rate every kind of product from bicycles to toasters to guide you to the most ethical choice.

You might also want to check on the brands, companies and products that you are already enjoying and giving your money to. Lidl, Morrisons and Aldi have become the first major supermarkets in the UK & Ireland to pay their staff above the National Living Wage, which is a great example to other big chain stores. Marks and Spencer have also made big progress with their ‘Plan A’ – their commitment to helping protect the planet by sourcing responsibly, reducing waste and helping communities.

For your other favourite retailers, now is the time to look up their supply chain policies, corporate social responsibility policies and if they don’t have them – just ask! Send an email or contact the company through social media. As a paying customer, it’s your right to know!

6) Be Content

Much of our learning about choosing more ethically must be rooted in contentment with what we have. When we understand our privilege and can recognise how much we already have then we can make wiser choices when we spend our money. We must drown out the adverts and the noise that tells us contentment comes packaged up prettily underneath a tree and remind ourselves that true contentment comes from things we cannot touch or switch on.

Why not start by being more intentional about one or two of these things this year? If we each made decisions with a little more thought and purpose, we could collectively make some important statements.

A version of this post first appeared in Herald Magazine & contains affiliate links.