How To Regulate For Resilience

The second tier in the resilience pyramid, the building block on that internal safety that we can cultivate is understanding regulation. Go back to last week’s post to read about the first tier.

Regulation is our ability to head back to practices that notify our body that we are safe when we feel stress or experience difficult moments or feelings..

Before we get into some important regulation techniques, I want to take a minute and explain a bit about stress. Because it often feels like we misunderstand stress as something that is largely dependent on circumstances outside of us and that can put the brakes on our ability to regulate. So let’s get into it.

There are stressors and there is stress.  

Our stressors are the things that activate the stress response in our bodies. Most of them are external, so things like work, kids, money, red tape, maybe even small things that activate the stress response like waiting for an important bit of information or traffic or when something is broken that we really need access too. Stressors can also be  internal things like body self-criticism or those voices of the inner protector, and they also activate the stress response. If these things are the stressors - the stress itself is what happens in your body. It’s this chemical mash up of energy and hormones that gets activated in response to the stressor, and ultimately it’s our body’s evolutionary protection mode that flares up to notify us that something is at risk, is not right, is in struggle within.

In their book Burnout, sisters Emily and Amelia Nagoski talk about stress as a cycle that needs to be completed. I think this is a really revolutionary way of explaining and understanding regulation. And it’s also accessible, because what it means is that even if the stressors in our life aren’t going away, we can still learn to complete the cycle of stress in our bodies and regulate ourselves amidst the stressors. 

In turn then, this also means that when the stressors do go away, you also have to prioritise dealing with the stress itself separately because it’s happening in our bodies. 

For example: I have friends that work in am-dram. When they are in a show, it’s full on. They are often working day jobs in a demanding physical, emotional roles and then going straight to rehearsals and performances. You can guarantee that the week after their show ends its run, they will be unwell for a few days - like clockwork. They will have throat problems, their stomach issues will flare up, their body will responding to the stress. Even though the stressor is gone - the show is finished. The stress in their body will manifest. It has been working the cycle all along but it has got stuck because the adrenaline of the pressure and the performance of the show has masked it. But now that the stressor is gone, even if it was an enjoyable one that felt fulfilling as a whole - the body is speaking up - “pay attention! I’m still stuck!” Im sure we all have examples of this in our own lives. We’ve all experienced times where we’ve had stressors to contend with - be it the death of a loved one, submitting a big project or paper, being on a deadline for work, working on something complex or even conflict in relationships or building up to a difficult conversation we know we have to have - and often times once those experiences come to a close or are sorted in some way, our body feels like it’s been through a war. And internally it likely has. It has been stuck in a stress cycle. So we get sick, we need to take to bed for a day or two, we feel rotten. 

And it’s not because we all of a sudden got sick, you were likely unwell from the stress in your body all along, but now your immune system can finally get its voice heard over the noise of all the stress. Our nervous system has been deregulated and that system impacts a whole bunch of other areas of our physical bodies and their abilities to thrive.. 

Nervous system deregulation occurs when the nervous system is in a state of continual or repeated activation or in extended conditions of stress.

The impact ranges from chronic physical illness and dis-ease such as: memory problems, insomnia, dizziness, digestive problems and psychological: fear being seen, people-pleasing, hyper-vigilance, overworking, lack based thinking, planning for the worst, feeling unsafe in your body, easily overwhelmed, a need to control/ win/ be good/ right, maybe even addicted to negative reinforcement.

COMPLETING THE STRESS CYCLE:

So if stress is a cycle that happen in your body and involves the full intelligence of your nervous system - which extends from the top of your head to the tip of your toes and beyond the skin, burnout is what happens when we do not complete the stress cycle. We get stuck in the middle of it. 

And burnout is the result of chronic stress - when your stress level outpaces the resources you have available to drain off the stress or complete the stress cycle. You go from stressor to stressor and continue to go halfway through the cycle in the stress response and back again to a new stressor without deploying ways to notify your body that the stress cycle is complete. And that notification that we give the body to complete the stress cycle is what I mean by regulation. 

So how do we regulate and complete the stress cycle? Let’s talk about it.

• Most efficient – physical activity.

So it can be any form of physical activity. It can be dancing it out in your living room. It can be just standing up from your desk, tensing every muscle really hard, every muscle in your body until they’re shaking and begging for you to stop and then you flop down, put your hands on the ground and let your body soak and release. And that, even by itself, is going to begin to release the physical chemical stuff that was happening in your body with the stress. Any movement of your body

• Next up - Breathing down-regulates your nervous system.

Especially when you can take a slow breath in and especially a slow, long breath out. All the way to the ends of your abdominal muscles contract. That’s how you know you’re engaging the parasympathetic nervous system to down regulate the central nervous system. It is the gentlest way in to completing the stress response cycle. It sounds too hippy, too easy. But it’s science and it works. Most popular with two groups: yoga instructors and military special forces.

Other ways to complete the stress cycle: 

Positive social interaction

Laughter

Affection

A good old cry

Creative Expression

It’s important to remember, stress is not bad for you. Being stuck in stress and not completing the stress cycle is bad for you. We must find ways to regulate ourselves in times of stress, even if we aren’t able to remove the stressor. I find this to be a really powerful bit of information to keep in mind when it comes to resilience building.

If we are able to understand the conditions that bring us internal or emotional safety and do our best to maintain that AND THEN deploy our resources to regulate and complete the stress cycle when we do feel threatened by stress or uncertainty or risk then we are setting ourselves up for a really healthy way of navigating the inevitability of life and can be confident that resilience - the ability to move through difficulty without adding more pain to the experience - is within reach because we have ways and means to understand it and manage it those tougher times.

As always, I’m here - willing to chat more - you can email me hello@melwiggins.com if you want to reflect on anything I’ve said today and if there’s anything I can do to go further with this and support you or your maybe even spend some time with your team or workplace looking at resilience building, know that I’d love to do that and you can email me for more details of what that could look like. 

And if you’re a female business owner keen to do more work on building your resilience as you build your business, we make space for all of this in my four month brand builder programme which is open right now. If you want to chat to me about what the brand builder involves, there’s a link in the show notes to book a little bit of time with me, for free and chat that through.

The Pyramid of Resilience Building for Business Owners & Teams

I’ve been working on some new stuff lately - some resources and training I’ve been putting together on building resilience for some work I’m doing with some companies and teams and I thought it might be helpful to share this here with you, so you can see how it might make sense for you and your work, your teams, your business.

It’s no surprise to me that I’m hearing more conversations about resilience lately, and having people come to me to support their work or their teams in understanding and building resilience. In times of rapid change and so much uncertainty, we need to get to grips with what it means to be resilient more than ever. We need to learn the tools and practices that can support us to manage ourselves through disappointment, tragedy, chaos and flux. 

What I want to use this space to share about is what I’m calling the pyramid of resilience building. The structure that needs to be in place for sustainable growth, development, fulfillment and capacity. Because resilience isn’t the end outcome of what we’re looking for when we talk about it, is we. I’m struck that when people come to me wanting to look at resilience, they’re often actually talking about a greater capacity to stay in alignment with their values, to grow as people, feel more fulfilled and have a better capacity to do the work they love and live life meaningfully and present.. That’s the goal of resilience, so we need to talk about what the pathway is to it.

I’m probably going to do this over a series of two or three episodes but today I want to break down the pyramid so you can see clearly what is most important to be in place in order for resilience to have the room to grow.

If you can imagine a pyramid structure, the bottom foundation in building resilience would be emotional or internal safety. And that’s what we’re going to cover today. 

The next layer up would be self and co-regulation 

The next layer would be resilience and then the top of the pyramid is sustained growth, fulfillment and capacity. 

So let’s dig into the first thing, the very foundation of resilience building - emotional or internal safety. 

Internal, emotional safety is so intrinsic to our ability to be able to handle pressure and stress and not have it swallow us up because if we don’t feel emotionally safe in our environment, with the people we are with, with the expectations we are being held to - the foundation is shaky from the start.

If we don’t have the tools to understand how to find emotional safety, the pyramid towards resilience is not off to a great start.

What I mean by internal, emotional safety is a strong knowledge of self - of our triggers, of the things that fire off our nervous system into fight flight freeze and fawn AND the emotional safety that comes from our environment - from people that feel safe to us, who actively promote our emotional safety and that of others’. So I want to ask you to reflect right here - maybe you want to grab a journal and pause this episode and jot some stuff down… 

WHAT DOES INTERNAL OR EMOTIONAL SAFETY FEEL LIKE FOR YOU?

Think about times where you have felt emotional safety and trust.

Take a moment to experience what that feels like in your body.

Who are you around when you experience emotional safety?

How does the structure or conditions of your work impact your feelings of internal safety?

And adversely - 

What are the triggers or threats that often make you feel emotionally or internally unsafe. We can easily name them in the physical world but what comes up for us when it comes to emotional or psychological threats?

The reason this is so important is because when we are emotionally safe, feeling like we are able to be and respond in a more rational capacity, we are more able to regulate ourselves when difficulty comes. Someone who is exposed to environments or people who don’t feel emotionally or internally safe or someone who isn’t able to understand their own inner triggers and self-doubt  is more likely to have a nervous system that is activated and be out of their window of tolerance - struggling to regulate or respond rationally. Let me share with you a quote about windows of tolerance from Linda Graham, psychotherapist, consultant, trainer on the neuroscience of resilience. She says this:

"The Autonomic Nervous System is central to resilience because it keeps us in a 'window of tolerance. The window of tolerance is a zone where our nervous system is relaxed, calm, alert, engaged. When we are in our window of tolerance, which we hope is most of the time, we feel centered and balanced. Everything is humming along in equilibrium. When we are in our window of tolerance, we can perceive-process-respond to life events with a kind of wise equanimity. We can cope. We can be resilient"

- Linda Graham

So how can we establish a sense of emotional or internal safety as a bedrock for building resilience. My advice is this:

• Self-awareness - understanding the situations, people, conditions that threaten your emotional safety. This is key - the external sources that can contribute to not feeling emotionally safe. And also what is key is noticing and coming to more deeply know how the voice of your own inner protector and how it shows up when you feel vulnerable or you are approaching something emotionally risky. Keeping a close ear to hear when that voice is raised within us rather than our sense of intuition or our inner wisdom.

• Boundaries with others - being clear about your expectations and gathering clarity from others about theirs. Having difficult conversations when you need to instead of settling for ambiguity and feigned comfort. Knowing what lines you aren’t willing to cross, or that you won’t allow others to cross. Being loyal to your needs and the conditions that enable you to feel emotionally safe and making sure that you follow through with those boundaries.

• Curiosity and compassion over shame and blame - shame and blame in most contexts will add fuel to the fire of feeling emotionally unsafe. If we are able to slow ourselves down to welcome curiosity and compassion to the things we feel are difficult or feel emotionally risky, we can gently diffuse those feelings. Not bypass them - we aren’t in the business of pretending we dont feel how we feel, but approaching our feelings with curiosity (i.e. hmm, I’m finding myself really nervous about this conversation I have to have with my boss even though they’re usually really lovely, I wonder what it is about it that I’m worried about” Or “this deadline is feeling really stressful right now - I wonder if this is something I can push back or ask for more support with so that I can approach it more rationally” instead of catastrophising or spiralling into self doubt.) and then dollopping on some compassion instead of blame (i.e. “The last time I had to have a tricky conversation it didn’t go well, it makes perfect sense that this would have me feeling nervous. I know I can do this and be ok and it’s fair that I feel worried about the outcome” or “there’s a lot to get done here and I need to make sure I’m not running myself into the ground. I deserve to feel able to complete this project in a way that isn’t so frantic.” 

• A strong sense of values alignment - being aligned more deeply to our values is going to help steer us in our decision making and give us the satisfaction of integrity that can help us feel emotionally safe. 

Ultimately emotional safety requires our willingness to be able to recognise what feels unsafe, decipher if that risk feels protective in a way that is going to move us towards our goals or keep us from them, come back to our window of tolerance so that we can respond and react to whatever is happening from a place of courage, calm, clarity and curiosity. 

If we are unable to recognise our emotional safety triggers and always feel like we are operating outside of our window of tolerance, we will find difficult situations more and more hard to manage. Our nervous systems won't ever have a proper opportunity to reset and retreat.

It’s up to us to do the work to determine what this aspect of building resilience requires from us. Maybe it’s a keener sense of boundaries. Maybe it’s a deeper understanding of the protective voice that holds us back, maybe being more clear about our values and getting into more alignment with what we believe and do.

This is really important work and a crucial baseline in the trajectory of building resilience. If you are finding yourself or your team struggling to deal with set backs, feedback or disappointment - start here. Start prioritising what emotional or internal safety looks like for you or your team. 

What can you do to help yourself or your people recognise what it feels like to be internally safe so they can turn towards that in times of difficulty or stress. 

As always, I’m here - willing to chat more - you can email me hello@melwiggins.com and if there’s anything I can do to go further with this and support you or your team in resilience building, know that I’d love to do that and you can contact me for more details of what that could look like. I have training workshops and packages for teams and leaders that I’d love to share with you. And if you’re a female business owner keen to develop some of these tools to support the building of your business and you as the business owner, we do all of this in my four month brand builder programme which is open right now and you are welcome to check that out here.

MINDTRASH, OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS AND THE PLAGUE OF SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS

You’ve probably heard me mention that this time last year I sent out a survey for female business owners and had a really amazing response to it. I think over 70 women in business gave me feedback on some of the biggest challenges they were facing in their work, what they would love to do more of, what they wish they could do differently etc and it was really revealing for me as a coach to hear those responses. It has actually shaped so much of the work that I do here on this platform, the content I create, and that was the intention - to find out what was troubling female business owners and see if there were ways I could support them for free. 

I asked this question towards the end of the survey - it was this “What is the biggest mind-trash thinking you come up against in your business that you’d love to work through?” So I want to talk about some of the responses here. Here. Mostly because one response came up an unprecedented amount of times.

Number one mindtrash that came up in my 2022 survey was about other people. Answers reveals were things like: Other people are better than me, what will other people think if I do x y and x, I don’t think what I have is of value compared to other people in my industry. Other people other people other people. 

First of all - if this many women in business are saying the same thing - something about this must be very natural. This is our protective nature - the nature that we all have within that wants to remain safe in the pack, to know that we are not at risk of being abandoned or rejected. It’s only normal that when it comes to putting our bravest, most honest work out there that we find it excruciating because we know how exposing it is, how naturally there is judgment that happens (because we all judge or have opinions). Our sense of this perks up when we are doing work that feels deeply personal, so of course our brains want to try and mitigate that risk and help us feel safe again. But no amount of me or anyone else saying “you can’t be concerned with other peoples opinions’ or ‘stay in your lane’ advice is going to soothe us out of that. So I want to offer an alternative frame, rather than asking you to bypass your worries or self-consciousness about other people. 

Those are real feelings, AND those feelings need worked through - because they can be thieves. And when we don’t address it, what this kind of thinking can do is rob us. Here are a couple things that our self-consciousness and hyper awareness of other peoples opinions can steal from us:

• Robs us of the joy of learning and trying. Being overly concerned with other people can really stunt us of the opportunity to give things a go and all the rich learning and joy that can come from that creative process. It can prevent us from the deep lessons and learning curves we will certainly experience when we begin to give things a go, try things out and step into more stretchier territory. It’s a real shame that this happens because it’s the most beautiful (and sometimes scary) place to be - in that centre of trying, creating, seeing if things work, if they resonate. When we are consumed by other peoples hypothetical opinions, we give over that opportunity to grow into our skin.

• Another way we lose when we are consumed by our own self-consciousness and fears about what other people are doing and if they might be doing it better is that we end up shrinking down and playing small. We talk ourselves out of things that come our way that could be good for us, we maybe show up and share about our work but we water things down and keep our head just slightly peeping up above the parapet in case we are too noticed or too visible. This kind of shrunk down version of ourselves is an injustice to us and our gifts and to the people who might really love and enjoy them or be served and helped by them.

If the plague of self-consciousness or the fear of other peoples opinions are running rampant and stealing these things from you - I want you to remember these three things:

Other people aren’t thinking about you as much as you think they are. They really aren’t. If 70% of my survey answers have anything to reveal, it’s that we are all concerned about other peoples opinions and how we measure up and that indicates to me that we are spending more time worried about that threat than it could possibly be true. We are all consumed with our own insceurities and self consciousness to be spending time reeling over our own opinions of someone elses work. If this is true, then maybe we can release that thought and remember that actually, people are kinder and more generous of spirit than we often give them credit for. It’s more likely that someone is looking at your work in admiration right now. It’s more likely that someone is aspiring to the kind of offering that you’re bringing. It’s more likely that someone is watching you show up and having warm thoughts towards you because they know how much it takes to be brave and put yourself out there. What if the opposite was true and you operated from the more generous lens of “everyone is wishing me well out here” or “people are focused on their own thing, I can focus on mine too”. What if that were truth and instead of letting this rob us, we allow it to fuel us. 

The second thing is this: if you’re always loyal to everyone else's hypothetical opinions, how can you be loyal to yourself? If your posture is to be churning over every scenario of what you think people assume about you, what you think people are saying, what you think people want from you - how much space are you really leaving for yourself? For your desires, your creativity, your intuition about what is next, your opinions on your work, your gut sense about what you might like to create or try next? When we are overly consumed by the hypothetical needs or opinions of others, we squash any sense of autonomy over our own creative process. It creates a tension and a division in our loyalty. 

And finally, just to play devils advocate for a second, stay with me - so what if other people do talk, are air-quotes better, do think a certain thing about you? What does it really mean about you? Is it true? Only you really know.

Similarly, what if everyone is praising you, running to your work, eating up everything you do. What does that mean about you? Is it true? Only you really know or get to decide. 

If we over-fixate on the opinions of others - whether they are positive or critical, we are going to be blown by the wind every day, making decisions based on those things. Someone said they like this - we double down. Someone seemed critical or questioning of this thing we made, we shove it to the back - don’t let it see the light of day again. We make things mean more than they are - when at the core, your work is sacred and the only person it should really matter to is you. It should matter if you’re proud of your effort. If you are connected to it. If you are enjoying the process of creating it. If you are committed to it. If it feels valuable to you and how you want to show up in the world and in your work. Once this type of loyalty is embedded in you, you can realise that your main job is to do that - to show up for yourself, be led by your intuition, desires and ease and allow whoever is compelled by this loyal version of you and your work to be drawn in by it when they are ready. And they will. A steady presence, someone who is unapologetically doing their truest work and opening an invitation to join them is always compelling.

The work isn’t to override these feelings of ‘what will other people think’ what if im not as good as other people etc. It’s to notice them, cultivate some compassion for the natural reasons that it occurs and then make a decision to be loyal to yourself as you move through them. 

I hope this brings you a bit of comfort for when other peoples opinions or self-counsciousness arises within you on your creative or business building journey.

WHY YOUR WORK ISN'T SELLING

It’s likely that you clicked here today because you are a business owner, you create things – products of services that you really want to get out there into the world, into the hands of people who will love them. It’s also likely that you are here because the title of this blog is looking at sales and you would love to be selling more of these wonderful, smart, helpful things that you are creating. Because ultimately, that’s what business is about, right? Making sure that your product or service generates income that can sustain and regenerate profit in your business so you can pay your bills, have fun, keep creating and doing the work you love. So…

In this blog post I want to explore some of the reasons why your work might not be selling the way you want it to. And even though this might feel this question – why is my work not selling more -  has any number of answers to it – I want to focus down into three.

I’ve been working with hundreds of businesses over the last six years and I know how tricky selling is, especially for women, so I have witnessed first hand (in my own business) and in so many others the common stuff that gets in the way of seeing those sales come in. And so in this post I want to offer my top three things that I see business owners often missing that are really worth a deeper consideration…

1)     Positioning

2)     Offering

3)     Visibility Vulnerability

So let’s dive in and talk about some of the practicalities – both the outer and inner stuff - that might be in the way of people lining up to buy your amazing stuff.

First up let’s consider positioning:

When I say positioning, what I’m really talking about it how you are framing your offers. This takes into account the way you are connecting, messaging, marketing and framing what it is you have to offer.

Making sales in your business is not about just getting on Instagram and putting your product or service out there, spewing off reems about what it is and crossing your fingers that someone needs it. It’s not about detailing every aspect of what your product does on your website. It takes some understanding of where people are at that might be interested in or need your product to really make the connection.

For the most part, when it comes to purchasing something, people are really interested in how something is going to make them feel. So our messaging and marketing needs to factor that in. Sure, we like to know details of the product, how much it costs, how it works, but ultimately, people connect to how a product or service is going to change something for them, or bring them a feeling. So instead of selling from a place of details, try talking and sharing more about what kind of transformation your work brings. Now, I know that lots of people out there who offer products sometimes struggle with this part. But believe me when I say that there is transformation to be found in your product. Maybe you’re thinking about how much easier it is for service providing businesses to speak to this, but it isn’t the case. Remember, people buy based on feelings. You only have to go to the grocery store on an empty stomach to see that. Or think about the last thing you bought for yourself and dig into what feeling you were after when you purchased it. For me, I bought a candle the other because I wanted to feel cozy and warm as the nights are getting colder. I want to see the dance of that glowy flicker on my mantle piece to signal that it’s time to wind down when I go to sit down at the end of a long day. I bought into the cozy feeling.

So when it comes to your work, how does what you make or create delight, surprise, bring pleasure or joy to others. How will your food make them feel nourished or like a proper luxury treat they can savour. Speak about how your pottery or your clothes or your art brings a sense of personal or individual style. How it makes people feel satisfied, adds flair to a dining table or wall or gives something a sense of feeling finessed or put together. This goes for product or service testimonials too. Make sure when you get feedback, you ask your customer or clients to talk about this aspect. Where were they before they had your work, how do they feel now? What has shifted?

Positioning means framing the feelings of your work in a way that people recognise themselves in the offer. Don’t skip this bit – it’s how we connect and speak human to human with our customers/clients.

Secondly, let’s talk about offering.

When you’ve got your positioning right, it’s time to offer. It’s time to actually provide solutions to the feelings of your customers or clients. It’s one thing to understand your customer, how they feel, what kind of benefits they are after, what transformation or feeling they are looking for but now it’s your job to step up to that with your solution, how you know your product or service can remedy that and let people have it.

What I see happening a LOT a lot a lot is that we have these offers, we know how to position them and we are excited about people wanting them or needing them and all the beauty that comes in that transaction, and so we show up and post about it on social media and expect the sales cart to go mad, to sell out quickly (this whole selling out thing is lies that we are told by hustle culture is common when it truly is rare) or that people will just find it magically and want it quickly.

It does not work like this. And this is often where a lot of us lose our nerve and start doing the slow tiptoe away from our offerings. Like, just kidding – I didn’t really create this, gotta go! We can’t just post about something once or twice and expect things to sell easily. This requires so much nerve holding, showing up and staying committed to this part of the work.

Chances are, if you have something to offer, you aren’t talking about it enough. And for a whole host of reasons that ill get into in a minute. Either you aren’t talking about it enough or you’re talking about it cryptically instead of being bold about asking people to buy from you or work with you. I want you to realistically count in your head how many times you have actively, boldly asked for the sale this week. What I’m not saying is that you have to be pushy or manipulative or cringe here – asking for the sale isn’t begging or forcing. I’m not asking you to step away from your values of authenticity or connection – I am actually asking you to step into it more. Because to know you have solutions or something of value or something that could inspire or delight or help someone and not showing up and telling people about how they can get it – that is actually not activating your values of authenticity or connection is it? By hiding your offers, using vague language or tiptoeing around your offers isn’t actually providing the authentic connection that you really can provide!

You can offer and sell your stuff clearly, with integrity every single day. You can show up on social media or to your email list every day and make sure that whoever is ready or interested in your work knows how to get it and it doesn’t have to mean anything you might be making it mean about you. Please do not ghost your community when you think no one wants what you have to offer – show up for them and for yourself and keep letting those who may need to know what you have to offer. Do it regularly, do it often and do it with conviction because you believe in your own work.

And this brings me to my final point: Vulnerability

That’s the feelings that come up with this stuff. The vulnerability of the offering and showing up.

It is hard internal work to plug your offers. It requires a lots of risk and vulnerability to create something you care about from a place of genuine love for your work and then hold it out into the world and say – come see this? You like it? Do you want to buy it? It’s really good! Your risk aversion department in your brain is going to be on high alert, hoping that you back down your visibility and retreat to the safety of not being seen.

To show up and sell your work or your product or service is going to require you to acknowledge that protective voice, to recognise it when you start doing the slow tiptoe away, to identify how it is showing up when it comes to sharing about your work and asking people to buy from you. Recognising how your self doubt shows up and what you tend to do when that happens is a huge component of mastering it. When you recognise it – that you tend to go quiet, start comparing, stall because of perfectionism, ghost your audience, look for validation in the wrong places, numb out, people please, shrink back in – then you can start to deploy some settling techniques to bring yourself back to your commitment to the work.

Tend to your nervous system when this happens. Reassure your risk aversion department that you are curious about how this might actually work out for you and that it doesn’t need to be on such high alert. Do the work to bring some calm reassurance back into your body and mind. Journal, get into community with other business owners who are 100% likely to be feeling the same way about this for some solidarity, hire a flipping coach and co-regulate and let them do their job of helping you maintain your loyalty to yourself and your work.

If you are finding selling your stuff isn’t working for you right now and you are stuck, frustrated, doubting yourself and your abilities – lean into these three things and see what might shift for you. And let me know if it does.