WOMEN, LET'S TALK ABOUT EARNING MONEY

I have NOT always felt excited to talk about this, let me just say that. I know that this topic is not something that is overly comfortable for so many of us to talk about for lots of reasons and I want to preface this episode by saying this has been my experience too.

When I first started running my business, the money stuff was absolutely the thing I buried my head in the sand about the most. Coming from decades of working in the non profit sector, to go from having a set salary and applying for funding for different causes that I worked in to creating products and offers where I was asking people to pay me was a big leap. A really big, uncomfortable, hard leap.

I had to learn pretty quickly because the truth is, if your business isn’t making money, it’s not a business.

More than that, if your business is not making money in strategic ongoing ways, it is not sustainable and that’s a really hard place to operate from – when you feel like things are so unstable. That’s when we feel like we need to scramble, to undersell, to contort what we do to suit what we think people want.

So I want you to know that me feeling comfortable talking about making money in my business is something that has been about 4 years in the making. I took on a coach to help me with this stuff, I started opening the conversation in my community about money and I’ve learned a huge amount about the massive importance of being money literate and assured in my business so I want to share some of that with you in case you’re in that position too – where making money or talking about your work or selling or pricing feels hard. You’re not the only one, trust me.

 Why do we struggle to talk about money as women?

I think a large amount of our hesitation or fear of money conversations comes from women having been kept out of money conversations for many many years. It really is a new phenomenon in western society that women are able to earn good money on their own terms and have economic autonomy. It’s only in the last 40 years that we have been able to have our own bank accounts or mortgages in our names without male signatories. I imagine if you look down your family tree, there are only a few women who have been able to access the opportunities women now have to run their own businesses or work their way up in terms of earning.

So even though we have more access to earning money and having a financial say in our own lives, it makes sense that it still feels really taboo or new for women to be talking about this stuff because it IS still so new in terms of our access.

And when you’ve been kept out of the conversation for as long as we have, we naturally will feel timid about entering into it or feeling like we have any authority to do so.

And many of us have complicated relationships with money; with poverty, with debt, with guilt about our upbringings or privileges. Many of us women likely carry all of those experiences and feelings into our businesses and can recognise that they have an impact in how we show up, how we price, how we ask people to buy from us etc.  In order for us to get more comfortable with all of those things, we have to face them, acknowledge and own them as part of our story and also believe that it’s important for us to be paid for our work and to earn money with autonomy.

And our culture sends women messages about our relationships with money too, right? It plays us off as the spenders, the shoppers, demonising women’s relationship to money in really patronising ways. We also know that women who are financially successful are also scrutinised more, and the conflation rests in our mind that being a woman who makes money means you are going to be perceived as being less likeable. We know how much likeability can be a safety lever for us so we can see how women are likely to shrink when it comes to money because the risk of not being liked feels too much.

We also are managing the reality of seeing how money and power works in the world, and it doesn’t take long to observe that the accumulation and distribution of wealth is so screwed up and toxic. It has resulted in an individualised, patriarchal, capitalist society.

It’s likely that because of what we see now that our associations with money are that it can be detrimental and corruptive rather than being something that allow us freedom and greater opportunities to be generous, to change systems or create new and better ways of working.

And so with all that, it is natural that we fear money, or we fear what having money or asking for money will bring. Will it lump us into the same patriarchal, capitalistic society that we know isn’t good for the world? Will it show US to be unlikeable if we ask for things or desire more?

Women and money

What is crucial to know is that actually women operate really differently from men when it comes to wealth. Research shows women are naturally more generous, better at handling money than men and more attuned to using our money wisely and for good.

We are more likely to give to charity, give to more charities, and give more often.

Households headed by single females give 57% more to charity than those headed by single males.

Men tend to favour charitable contributions for their tax advantages. Women tend to give largely out of empathy and connection to certain causes.

Women in the top 25% of permanent income status give 156% more than men in the same category. 

One quarter of high net worth women support causes or organizations aimed at benefiting women and girls. They say that their number one motivation for this giving is their belief that it is the most efficient way to solve societal problems.

Women tend to view wealth as a means by which to articulate their value set.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?! WE ARE TO BE TRUSTED. WOMEN ARE TO BE TRUSTED WITH MONEY!

And the only way we can turn things around in terms of how money is shared in the world is if we harness our courage and are brave enough to ask for what we want. To put our hands up and say, I’ll have that. I can trust myself to earn this.

We have an opportunity to reimagine how the world could look it we had more women earning money, creating new solutions to the worlds problems and getting paid for it. But to do that have to be willing to step into our own space and ask for what we want.

And even better, by doing this, we can begin to show younger women coming up in the world how women can earn money, have autonomy, shift inequality and use their earning power for good.

If we continue to shrink around money, neglect to offer our work out and keep our heads buried in the sand about this stuff It’s going to be harder for us to create a new collective narrative of the importance of women having equal earning power.

Why do we need to talk about money?

Here are some other REASONS WHY IT’S IMPORTANT for us to care about money and getting paid:

+ So we can offer the best and maintain your integrity.

When we get paid for what we do it allows us to bring ourselves to our work in a different way or energy. We show up differently when we feel like our work is valued well. Always doing stuff for free or discounted is going to lead to resenting your work and losing steam.

It’s also important because women need to be more integrated into economic spheres.

We need more women in boardrooms, making decisions for fairer worlds, investing in good, sustainable ways, having a seat at the table. We need more women using their money to create change, to even things out in our unbalanced world and enconomy!

+ So we have sustainable businesses to offer

Another reason it’s important for you to care about money and get paid for what you do is this reality: if you don’t, you will not have a business or offering to enjoy and serve. Plain and simple. If you continue to undercharge, not ask for what you want, not be clear about your money situation, you wont be able to continue doing the work that you love because you wont be able to afford to!

We also need to remember that when we offer our work out to people, we are giving others the opportunity to invest in things that might solve their problems or help them. Someone out there really needs and is ready to invest in you and whatever product or service you have to offer. Shrinking from money conversations is actually denying people the opportunity to get the thing they might really need from you! Don’t patronise people by playing small with your gifts and skills, assuming they won’t pay for them. You may have just what someone needs.

 + Because women can be trusted with money

And finally, this conversation is important because you are absolutely to be trusted to earn good money. You can trust yourself to remain the amazing, generous, creative person that you are if you ask for what you want. Selling what you do, offering your products out to people, pitching for business, calling in clients, earning money in ways that you never imagined does not change your goodness. You can be trusted to do that. In fact, we need you to do that.

I wonder if any of this is stirring something in you right now, or if you’re feeling a shift with how you’ve been feeling about earning money or asking for what you want in your business? I hope it injects a little courage into your soul today and I’d love it if you’d pass it on to a friend who needs that too.