I’ve been involved in the personal development industry for just about a decade - 6 of those years directly coaching and building a business. I’ve been around the block in terms of the kind of gurus there are in this industry and have experienced a lot of different schools of thought when it comes to the ways you can make your business successful, grow your income and your influence etc and in this episode I want to shed some light on some of the more formulaic things that are being peddled that I think that are ultimately huge distractions that especially for women, are keeping us from doing fulfilling work. .

It is more important than ever, in this noisy culture that wants to tell us the formula for ‘success’, that we sift through the nonsense and tune into our own intuition and desires.

Here are three things that I see as huge distractions that are keeping us from doing work that is fulfilling and meaningful.

1) TRACKING NUMBERS / FOLLOWERS

Please hear this. Hitting 1K or 5K or 100K followers on instagram means jack shit when it comes to fulfillment. You do not need to have a big following on social media or even a huge email list to build a sustainable, thriving business, service or community. Social media and email platforms didn’t exist as a medium for businesses to use until the recent past and even though it can be an effective, free space for sharing your offerings and building trust in your products, services or values - the numbers game is a dangerous one.

One of my mentors has a thriving, six figure business doing what she absolutely loves and is gifted in with a relatively small following on instagram. She has built her business through writing regularly to email subscribers and developing online courses to teach the stuff that she knows, with a really strong referral system where alumni of her programmes stay on and word of mouth is powerful because they have such a great experience. She has harnessed the truth of quality over quantity and has been showing up consistently, building trust with the people she wants to serve. Her work is fulfilling and sustainable and she is not distracted by follower counting as a means to determine her success.

Big numbers does not equal ‘success’ or fulfilment. It is a façade that the ego wants to lure us into that we really need to do away with. If you’ve been struggling with feeling legitimate because of a small following, or you think you couldn’t possibly sell what you love or your ideas because you don’t have enough “reach” – it’s simply not true. Serve the people that have chosen to have you in their orbit well - develop consistency and congruency and repetition  in what you are doing and remember that business is a long game. All of the mediums like social media continue to change rapidly, so instead of panicking about having to get your head around the latest trend or platform, show up where people are already paying attention and continue to hold your own.

2) ENDLESS EDUCATION

The second thing I think is really significantly stopping people from doing fulfilling work is endless education. And its a common myth that a lot of women buy into - a mindset that desperately needs some updating.

I see this all the time. We have ideas, passions, ideas bubbling up and instead of trying things out or dipping our toes out into the water of sharing those ideas or starting that thing, we spend our time trying to legitimize ourselves by going to every event, every training, every course, researching every other similar business or idea instead of knuckling down and doing the work (this does not apply if you want to be a surgeon - please get a qualification for that).

Here’s the thing. You could have all the letters after your name and all the qualifications in the world and STILL - putting yourself out there to do the work you know will fulfill you will feel stretchy and uncomfortable. It will because it is precious to you and letting it out into the world will feel vulnerable.

This mindset of always feeling like we need to do more training and education is an easy one to slip into because we are programmed to try and keep ourselves safe from vulnerability and staying behind research or doing more and more qualifications is a safer space to occupy than putting yourself out there and actually getting to the part where you get to really get stuck into the work that you have over trained for. 

The danger is that often all of this endless education distracts us from the stuff we know we’d love to just be out there doing. It swallows up all our time and energy and ends up leaving us feeling burned out and unable to take action on the thing we longed to do in the first place. You do not need a business degree, a marketing course or a fancy qualification to dip your toe in, to launch that business or to talk about something you feel passionately about. In fact, in most cases, all you’ll ever need to know about the thing you want to do can be best learned by actually doing it and taking a beginners posture, being experimental and kind to yourself and learning as you do. Ive said it before, and ill say it again - Courage loves action. 

3) WAITING FOR APPROVAL

The last thing that I think can be really distracting advice from the industry is doing your research. Now I say this with some caution, because I am all for research. I love getting into the details of things, figuring out how things work, what the best methods are, what would truly resonate and what else is out there so you can provide a solution in an authentic way etc. BUT - and here is the caveat - often research turns into approval seeking really quickly. When we have ideas that we’d like to put out into the world, what can happen is that we tend to hang back and wait for someone else to give us permission; to tell us that we’re adequate or allowed. It’s likely a lifetime of school girl conditioning that has us this way.

Allowing the opinions or approval of others to shape our ideas rather than confidently trusting our own intuition and energy is a huge distraction from getting on with the work that we most want to do and is a slippery slope towards people-pleasing and losing our own voice.

It is really tempting, especially when we are thinking of beginning something new, or contemplating putting our ideas or products or whatever out into the world to consult all areas. We ask people in our family what they think (please tread carefully on that one), we ask the whole of Instagram (kind of crazy to do because just because people think something is a cool idea doesn’t mean theyre going to buy it!), we ask and we endlessly gather opinions. Often, what we’re really looking for is either validation that our ideas are good or for someone to tell us they are shit so we can back away and not have to sit in the potential discomfort of birthing something that feels important to us. Neither of these responses are going to propel us into meaningful work.

What is important is that you are excited and drawn to the ‘what’ of what you want to do, that you have information about the ‘how’ from your target market (not your auntie or your brother who will likely not be your target market) and that you cultivate a sense of inner trust in yourself and your own ideas that you can make decisions based on. 

Ok, so tell me - are you seeing anything here that you may have been told is good business advice but may be distracting you from getting on with the things you’d love to do? 

It’s totally normal and human to get sucked into business advice that you have always heard, but it’s also ok to question it and consider if it is actually moving you towards getting on with doing fulfilling work or moving you away from it and distracting you from actually getting stuck in - fear and all. 
As always, I’m here - willing to chat more - you can email me hello@melwiggins.com or catch me on IG or my email list.


Three ways you can work with me right now:

• Over the summer I have a few spaces available for VIP Days. If you need a more in depth burst of strategy and clarity but are short on time, join me for an in-person (or virtual online) day of getting clear, strategic and excited about the next stage of your business. These days have been amazing for my clients. We solve problems, generate new ideas and ways of working and have the best time doing it.

• Join my Brand Builder Group Programme! It is GLORIOUS! I've been running this programme ongoing for the last year and it really is so special. It's part self-learning, part live group-coaching and right now I have a beautiful group of female business owners going through the modules to help them create super sonic clarity, greater self-belief and ways of working that completely change the game for their energy and goals in their businesses. If you'd like to hear more about it, click the link below or let's find a time to chat about where things are at for you and if this could be the right next step in developing you and your work. There is a link to Book a call with me as well. ​

• If you’re not a business owner but you think your workplace could benefit from some coaching and training from me to help bring more connection to your teams and better ways of working when it comes to challenges and change, then I’d love to chat about that too.